OT: Top 10 things to do with the W keys removed from the White House keyboards
George W. Bush's administration has averted a keyboard
catastrophe. Earlier this week, it was reported that many White
House keyboards were missing their W keys, presumably removed by
a Clinton White House staffer. Fortunately, OfficeMax announced
Wednesday that it would donate 500 replacement W keys
( one.digital.cnet.com ),
ensuring the new administration doesn't go W-less. We can all
applaud OfficeMax's patriotism, but somewhere, someone has a
secret cache of W keys. What should be done with them? We have a
few suggestions:
1. Going once, going twice: Auction the Ws on eBay, where
they'll all be snatched up by buyer gbush@hitehouse.gov.
2. I can see clearly now: Create a 3D eye chart, rotating the
keys to read W, M, E, and 3. Then, test the vision of the
White House security guards who missed the keyboard vandal
in the first place.
3. The candy man can: Turn them upside down, cover them in
chocolate, and market them as official "Presidential M&Ms."
4. Press V twice: VVhy don't vve forget about those VVs anyvvay?
VVe can use tvvo Vs instead, and vvith the money vve save
by not manufacturing them, vve could give vvhopping tax cuts.
5. Who needs the NEA?: Donate the keys to "Sesame Street." The
next 500 shows will be sponsored by the letter W.
6. Commemorative keys: The Franklin Mint covers the Ws in gold
and offers them for just $19.95 apiece as an official memento
of a fractious election. But hurry, this offer won't last!
7. Open door policy?: Use them to replace the "Women" restroom
signs that disappeared during the Clinton administration.
(Is it true that Bill preferred unisex bathrooms he'd seen on
"Ally McBeal"?)
8. WWW Jewelry: String them together in groups of threes and
hand them out as consolation prizes to recently unemployed
dot-com workers.
9. America's most wanted: Display police artist sketches of the
missing keys on the backs of milk cartons, with a $25,000
reward for any tips leading to the arrest and conviction of
the perpetrator.
10. Parting gift: Put 'em in a lockbox and send 'em to Al Gore. |
