Act V Scene I. A gravesite.
Enter two Clowns with spades, Gap t-shirts, etc.
First Clown: One time? This suit was all, what's up with the site today? and I'm like, chill OUT, man, and he's all, you screwed up big-time, code-boy, and I'm like, a pestilence on you for a mad rogue, dude!
Second Clown: ROTFLMAO! Look, dudes approach!
Enter Hamlet and Polonius [played by Mel Gibson and Danny Glover]
First Clown: Nice tights!
Hamlet: What site is this, sirrah?
First Clown: A site for sore eyes!
Hamlet: Do not play the clown with me, knave! The mere sight of it is troublesome, sick with accursed Arial, dull and heavy with blue and brown table cells. He must be blind who gave us this site!
Second Clown: Verily, thy sight is twenty-twenty now, my lord. But the more thou wilt look 'pon this site, the worse thy sight shall become! He who looks too long, a thrall to the Black Arts of Optometry shall surely be, and after shall require coke-bottle spectacles from Lenscrafters, that shall be ready in about an hour.
Hamlet: And what style of sheet is this? Surely it is sheet, yet it is of a style that is without style, and the sheet cascades down 'pon us all, like the fonts have minds unto themselves!
First Clown: No sheet!
Hamlet: And whose grave is this, sirrah?
Second Clown: This is the grave of my site, sir, and of many others!
Hamlet reaches into the grave and picks up a sock puppet
Hamlet: Alas, poor Sock! I knew him, Horatio: a mascot of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy: he hath soiled my carpet a thousand times; and chewed my best codpiece for a jape. Where be your gibes now? your brand equity? your Mediametrix numbers, that were wont to set the whole Street on a roar? Not one now, to mock your own grinning? Prithee, Horatio, I am now sorely bummed, what say we repair unto Ophelia's place and get totally baked?
All: Awesome!
Exeunt, high-fiving |
