Hi Mephisto,
It's good to see you. Someone e-mailed this to me and I thought the thread would ejoy it. It was a hoax done by a McDonnell Douglas employee:
This was allegedly posted very briefly on the McDonnell-Douglas
> > Website by
> > an employee there who obviously has a sense of humor. The
> company, of
> > course, does not have a sense of humor, and made the web
> department
> > take it
> > down immediately. For once, the 'IMPORTANT' note at the end is
> worth a
> > read
> > too....
> > -----------------------------------------------------------
> >
> >
> > Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft. In
> order
> > to protect your new investment, please take a few moments to fill
> out
> > the warranty registration card below. Answering the survey
> questions is
> > not required, but the information will help us to develop new
> products
> > that best meet your needs and desires.
> >
> > 1.
> > [_] Mr.
> > [_] Mrs.
> > [_] Ms.
> > [_] Miss
> > [_] Lt.
> > [_] Gen.
> > [_] Comrade
> > [_] Classified
> > [_] Other
> >
> > First Name: ................................
> > Initial: ........
> > Last Name: ..................................
> > Password: ............................. (max. 8 char)
> > Code Name:..................................
> > Latitude-Longitude-Altitude: ........... ...
> >
> > 2. Which model aircraft did you purchase?
> >
> > [_] F-14 Tomcat
> > [_] F-15 Eagle
> > [_] F-16 Falcon
> > [_] F-117A Stealth
> > [_] Classified
> >
> > 3. Date of purchase (Year/Month/Day): ....../......./......
> >
> > 4. Serial Number:.........................................
> >
> > 5. Please indicate where this product was purchased:
> >
> > [_] Received as gift / aid package
> > [_] Catalogue / showroom
> > [_] Independent arms broker
> > [_] Mail order
> > [_] Discount store
> > [_] Government surplus
> > [_] Classified
> >
> > 6. Please indicate how you became aware of the McDonnell Douglas
> > product
> > you have just purchased:
> >
> > [_] Heard loud noise, looked up
> > [_] Store display
> > [_] Espionage
> > [_] Recommended by friend / relative / ally
> > [_] Political lobbying by manufacturer
> > [_] Was attacked by one
> >
> > 7. Please indicate the three (3) factors that most influenced
> your
> > decision to purchase this McDonnell Douglas product:
> >
> > [_] Style / appearance
> > [_] Speed / maneuverability
> > [_] Price / value
> > [_] Comfort / convenience
> > [_] Kickback / bribe
> > [_] Recommended by salesperson
> > [_] McDonnell Douglas reputation
> > [_] Advanced Weapons Systems
> > [_] Backroom politics
> > [_] Negative experience opposing one in combat
> >
> > 8. Please indicate the location(s) where this product will be
> used:
> >
> > [_] North America
> > [_] Iraq
> > [_] Iran
> > [_] Aircraft carrier
> > [_] Iraq
> > [_] Europe
> > [_] Iraq
> > [_] Middle East (not Iraq)
> > [_] Iraq
> > [_] Africa
> > [_] Iraq
> > [_] Asia / Far East
> > [_] Iraq
> > [_] Misc. Third World countries
> > [_] Iraq
> > [_] Classified
> > [_] Iraq
> >
> > 9. Please indicate the products that you currently own or intend
> to
> > purchase in the near future:
> >
> > [_] Color TV
> > [_] VCR
> > [_] ICBM
> > [_] Killer Satellite
> > [_] CD Player
> > [_] Air-to-Air Missiles
> > [_] Space Shuttle
> > [_] Home Computer
> > [_] Nuclear Weapon
> >
> > 10. How would you describe yourself or your organization?
> (Indicate
> > all
> > that apply)
> >
> > [_] Communist / Socialist
> > [_] Terrorist
> > [_] Crazed
> > [_] Neutral
> > [_] Democratic
> > [_] Dictatorship
> > [_] Corrupt
> > [_] Primitive / Tribal
> >
> > 11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product?
> >
> > [_] Deficit spending
> > [_] Cash
> > [_] Suitcases of cocaine
> > [_] Oil revenues
> > [_] Personal check
> > [_] Credit card
> > [_] Ransom money
> > [_] Traveler's checks
> >
> > 12. Your occupation:
> >
> > [_] Homemaker
> > [_] Sales / marketing
> > [_] Revolutionary
> > [_] Clerical
> > [_] Mercenary
> > [_] Tyrant
> > [_] Middle management
> > [_] Eccentric billionaire
> > [_] Defense Minister / General
> > [_] Retired
> > [_] Student
> >
> > 13. To help us better understand our customers, please indicate
> the
> > interests and activities in which you and your spouse enjoy
> > participating on a regular basis:
> >
> > [_] Golf
> > [_] Boating / sailing
> > [_] Sabotage
> > [_] Running / jogging
> > [_] Propaganda / misinformation
> > [_] Destabilization / overthrow
> > [_] Default on loans
> > [_] Gardening
> > [_] Crafts
> > [_] Black market / smuggling
> > [_] Collectibles / collections
> > [_] Watching sports on TV
> > [_] Wines
> > [_] Interrogation / torture
> > [_] Household pets
> > [_] Crushing rebellions
> > [_] Espionage / reconnaissance
> > [_] Fashion clothing
> > [_] Border disputes
> > [_] Mutually Assured Destruction
> >
> > Thank you for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire.
> Your
> > answers
> > will be used in market studies that will help McDonnell Douglas
> serve
> > you
> > better in the future - as well as allowing you to receive
> mailings and
> >
> > special offers from other companies, governments, extremist
> groups,
> > and
> > mysterious consortia. As a bonus for responding to this survey,
> you
> > will be
> > registered to win a brand new F-117A in our Desert Thunder
> > Sweepstakes!
> >
> > Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes? Please write
> to:
> > McDONNELL DOUGLAS CORPORATION
> > Marketing Department Military Aerospace Division
> >
> > IMPORTANT: This email is intended for the use of the individual
> > addressee(s) named above and may contain information that is
> > confidential, privileged or unsuitable for overly sensitive
> persons with
> > low self-esteem, no sense of humor or irrational religious
> beliefs. If
> > you are not the intended recipient, any dissemination,
> distribution or
> > copying of this email is not authorized (either explicitly or
> > implicitly) and constitutes an irritating social faux pas. Unless
> the
> > word absquatulation has been used in its correct context somewhere
> other
> > than in this warning, it does not have any legal or grammatical
> use and
> > may be ignored. No animals were harmed in the transmission of this
> mail,
> > although he company president says the kelpie next door is living
> on
> > borrowed time... |
