You know Carlos, I'm so piss-poor at
this investing game, I thought I'd try
this lady's example. True story:
A little old lady (about 58, we'll call
her Rose) went into the Bank of Canada
one day carrying a bag of money. She
insisted that she must speak with the
president of the bank to open a savings account
because, "It's a lot of money!"
After much hemming and hawing, the bank staff
finally ushered her into the president's office
(the customer is always right!) The bank
president then asked her how much she would
like to deposit. Rose replied, $165,000 - Canadian
funds, of course, and dumped the cash out of her
bag onto his desk.
The president was, of course, curious as to how
she came by all this cash, so he asked her,
"Ma'am, I'm surprised you're carrying so much cash
around. Where did you get this money?"
Rose replied, "I makes bets."
"What kind of bets?"
Rose said, "well, for example, I'll bet you $25,000
that your balls are square".
"Ha!" laughed the president. "That's a stupid
bet. You can never win that kind of bet!"
Rose challenged, "So, would you like to take my bet?"
"Sure," said the president, "I'll bet $25,000 that
my balls are not square!".
Rose then said, "Okay, but since there is a
lot of money involved, may I bring my lawyer with
me tomorrow at 10:00 am as a witness?"
"Sure" replied the confident president.
That night, the president got very nervous
about the bet and spent a long time in front
of a mirror checking his balls, turning from
side to side, again and again. He thoroughly
checkly them out until he was sure that there
was absolutely no way his balls were square
and that he would win the bet.
The next morning, at precisely 10:00 am, Rose
appeared with her lawyer at the president's
office. She introduced the lawyer to the
president and repeated the bet.
"$25,000 says the president's balls are square!".
The president agreed with the bet again and Rose
asked him to drop his pants so they would all see.
The president complied.
Rose peered closely at his balls and then asked
if she could feel them.
"Well, okay," said the president, "$25,000 is a
lot of money, so I guess you should be absolutely
sure."
Just then, he noticed that the lawyer was quietly
banging his head against the wall. The president
asked Rose "What the hell's the matter with your
lawyer?"
She replied, "Nothing, except I bet him $100,000
that at 10:00 a.m. today I'd have the Bank of Canada's
president's balls in my hand.
Whaddiya think, Carlos? I figure it beats playing this
stinking market any day.
rose |
