The Irish Spirit ( applicable these days to Ampex stock ownership)
<< Saddam Hussein was sitting in his office wondering
how to raise hell with Israel and who to invade next when
his telephone rang.
"Hallo! Mr. Hussein," a heavily accented voice said.
"This is Paddy down in County Cavan, Ireland.
I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring
war on you!"
"Well, Paddy," Saddam replied, "this is indeed important
news! Tell me, how big is your army?"
"At this moment in time," said Paddy after a moment's
calculation, "there is myself, my cousin Sean, my next door
neighbor Gerry, and the entire dominoes team from the
pub...that makes 8"
Saddam sighed. "I must tell you Paddy that I have over 1
million men in my army waiting to move on my command."
"Begorra!", said Paddy, "I'll have to ring you back!"
Sure enough, the next day Paddy rang back. "Right Mr.
Hussein, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire
some equipment!"
"And what equipment would that be, Paddy?" Saddam
asked.
"Well, we have 2 combine harvesters, a bulldozer and
Murphy's tractor from the farm."
Once more Saddam sighed. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I
have 6 thousand tanks, 4 thousand armored personnel
carriers, and my army has increased to 2 million since
we last spoke."
"Really?!" said Paddy "I'll have to ring you back!"
Sure enough, Paddy rang again the next day. "Right Mr.
Hussein, the waris still on! We have managed to get
ourselves airborne! We've modified Ted's ultra-light with a
couple of rifles in the cockpit and the bridge team has joined
us as well!"
Saddam was silent for a minute, then sighed. "I must
tell you, Paddy, that I have thousands of bombers, thousands
MIG 19 foghter and attack planes, my militarycomplex is
surrounded by laser-guided surface-to-air missile sites, and
since we last spoke, my army has increased to 2 1/2 million."
"Faith and Begorra!", said Paddy, "I'll have to ring you back.
Sure enough, Paddy called again the next day. "Right Mr.
Hussein, I am sorry to tell you that we have had to call off
the war."
"I'm sorry to hear that" said Saddam. "Why the sudden
change of heart?"
"Well," said Paddy "We've all had a chat, and there's
no way we can feed 2 1/2 million prisoners.">> |
