Cramer tossed from Bottom Slapping Game Boat - Producers Cry Baah!
3-19-01- Hollywood Reporter- Reuters Transcript -
Myth Man:
I'll turn this over to associate producer Merv Griffin and host Chuck Woolery in a second -
Sam Donaldson:
Question! Myth Man! As co-producer of this raunchy lust boat - How can you compete for Cash Prizes? Myth Man is this game rigged?
Myth Man:
Sam, I play this game simply for pure pleasure and I'm proud to say that when I see a good looking Bottom - I slap it firmly.
From time to time I may win cash prizes, unfortunately, per. the advice of council I am unable to answer at this time - please direct those questions to the firm of Luc & Luc, Inc.
I have prepared a brief statement,...I will read that for you now.
At approximately 3:16AM Monday morning, following an incident with Contestant Cramer that can only be described as deeply disturbing, Mr. Cramer was handed over to members of the United States Coast Guard in the NY Harbor. Mr. Cramer is managing editor of BuyHigh-SellLow.Com
The incident took place during filming of the highly anticipated "Bottom Slapping Game" - HBO has informed us that our broadcast contract has been terminated - and although the "Bottom Slapping Game" will continue to film episodes for a few more weeks. Tapes of these episodes will only be distributed to private audiences at select New York & New Jersey nightclub locations. Select transcripts, at our discretion, may be posted to the Clown Free Zone and the Naked Truth Threads only.
Merv Griffin:
sfgate.com
"Jimmy Jones Cramer did us all a disservice. We had a live studio audience on the boat and frankly, the viewers found his displays of self gratification highly disgusting even before Cramer "went into" his vile contortions during the bonus round.
We knew going into the production of the "Bottom Slapping Contest" that Cramer had issues, unfortunately this depraved lunatic lost control in the bonus round the moment our cameras started rolling.
Chuck Woolery:
wvah.com
We did everything we could to accommodate this popular Wall Street Clown - after all, this joker is managing editor of BuyHigh-SellLow.Com! for crying out loud!
Everyone knows he has been struggling to determine the difference between a bottom and a top - executive producers Myth Man & Tony S. decided to place him in a room with RuPaul and Ed Koch to see what would happen.
Sam Donaldson:
What did happen? Is there any truth to the rumor that Ed Koch and RuPaul are dead?
Merv Griffin:
No...No...Koch is recovering in intensive care after a stroke and RuPaul is being treated at a local Trauma center. All of Cramers actions were carried out upon himself! Other contestants of the "Bottom Slapping Game" were not phycialy harmed -...
...my god, it was vile.......excuse me...these people were locked in a room...Cramer turned on himself...disgusting...excuse me...I am about to disgorge!
Sam Donaldson:
Is HBO toast? How do they intend to compete against ABC's hot new reality show Temptation Ranch - filmed on location in the Appalachian mountains?
Chuck Woolery:
Sorry, this press conference is over! Not the shoes Merv' not the...
********************************
The names "Merv Griffin", "Merv Griffin Gaming & Entertainment", "Bottom Slapping Game", & "Lace by Marv Albert" are registered trademarks of Tony Soprano Worldwide
Please visit other fine gaming establishments from Myth Man & Tony S. lvrj.com |
