Werner eggs Börse on
Published: March 22 2001 20:20GMT | Last Updated: March 22 2001 20:23GMT
Deutsche Börse had a surprise up its sleeve when it announced its 2000 results this week. No, it wasn't an aggressive acquisition strategy, but a chocolate egg for everybody.
Werner Seifert, the chief executive, clearly felt that if he didn't have any bread to offer he could at least hand out some cake.
Indeed, he went to great lengths to dampen expectations of any imminent move to acquire another European stock exchange. That's hardly surprising - there aren't any for sale.
With most of Europe's bourses tightly controlled, and the London Stock Exchange having already rebuffed his overtures, Seifert isn't ready to lose another battle just yet.
For the moment it seems that Borse surprises come in egg form.
Boy wonder
Richard Li is beginning to look like Richie Rich, the poor little rich kid.
Retail investors have been deserting his company, Pacific Century Cyberworks, in droves and the shares have dropped around 80 per cent in the last 12 months.
The company share price used to soar at the first hint of a deal but now seems to rise on suggestions that his billionaire father Li Ka-shing might step in to shore him up.
One of PCCW's few rousing rallies this year occurred after the two Lis were seen lunching together at a Hong Kong hotel.
Adding to his woes is the revelation that Li does not have a degree in computer engineering from Stanford University, although the company website and public relations material has long claimed that he does.
Yesterday the company had to issue a humbling statement that Li had only studied for three years at Stanford and had not completed a degree. Curiously it offered no explanation for the error.
Observer wonders what all the fuss is about. A real Internet wunderkind would take pride in making billions without benefit of paper qualifications. Maybe Li is not such a new economy poster-boy after all.
True moments
Every chief executive has to face at least one moment of truth in his or her career.
AG Lafley, after just nine months in the hot seat at Procter & Gamble, talked animatedly of two such moments yesterday.
Neither, bizarrely, had to do with the massive restructuring announced by the ailing household products giant.
The first moment of truth, according to Lafley, comes when the consumer is standing in the aisles of a shop and deciding whether to buy a P&G product or a rival brand.
According to its new CEO, P&G "has been losing too many of those moments".
The second moment follows when the intrepid shopper returns home and puts her purchase to use: "is she delighted with our product or not?", asks Lafley.
Such profound thoughts about what makes the company tick ought, no doubt, to warm the hearts of Proctoids (as P&G staffers are colloquially known) around the world.
Right now, however, most of them are probably more concerned about whether they will soon be facing their own moment of truth: Lafley, after all, announced on Thursday that he is planning to get rid of 16 per cent of the workforce or some 17,400 employees.
Ond game
So why has French utility Suez renamed Lyonnaise des Eaux with the rather shallow monicker Ondeo? Apparently the word Lyonnaise was proving difficult for the Americans and the Chinese - not exactly helpful when you are trying to become an international brand.
Ondeo's president Gerard Payen says that on a recent visit to the US he was unable to explain which company he represented until he made "Lyonnaise" rhyme with "mayonnaise" pronounced the American way ie "may-on-ayze".
In contrast, the new name was "warm", easy to pronounce, and has Latin roots - although Observer's Lewis and Short reference book doesn't feature any Latin words starting with the letters Ond.
Payen will be happy if the Greek-derived Latin word Onear (refreshment) springs to mind. Let's hope that customers don't confuse it with the Latin Onero (burden).
Noteworthy
Who says high street bankers don't have a sense of humour? Observer hears that Abbey National has been preparing to announce a cunning plan which would allow customers to print money in their own homes.
The plan involves distributing special paper to those who hate using cash machines. Simply put the paper into a special printer, log on to the Abbey website and "withdraw" money.
Abbey had lovingly prepared an announcement ready to distribute in ten days, complete with a photo showing some £10 notes rolling out of a printer.
Alas, the killjoys at the Bank of England have stepped in.
Despite the fact that the whole concept was a spoof April fool, the Bank has warned Abbey that the "press release" could encourage counterfeiters.
A humourless Bank official said yesterday that copying notes "is something we very much want to keep a lid on".
Imagine what Abbey could dream up if it didn't have the distraction of fighting off predator Lloyds TSB.
She-mail
Fabiola Arredondo may have quit Yahoo! but she hasn't completely severed her ties with the distressed dotcom. The glamorous executive, who was in charge of its European operations, left abruptly earlier this year.
Seen as the closest thing to a magazine pin-up for the European internet industry, she's thought to have resigned after becoming increasingly frustrated with Yahoo's senior management in Silicon Valley.
Having set up a media company, Arredondo is now touting her new contact details. They include one of those free e-mail addresses - provided by Yahoo.com.
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