The way it's done is:
They have two bags, stuffed with crumpled-up pieces of paper. One bag is labelled, "Reasons why stocks are up." You can guess what the other bag is labelled. So, whatever the market is doing, they close their eyes, reach into the appropriate bag, stir things up a bit, pull out a piece of paper, read it, and send the News out to the waiting world. Of course, there are a finite number of Reasons in each bag, so if you listen long enough, you hear the same Reasons get used over and over. Also, sometimes a piece of paper gets mistakenly put back into the wrong bag. So, when it gets picked next, it might be used to explain why stocks are up, whereas it was recently used to explain why stocks were down. This is the most cost-effective way yet found, to produce the News. |
