More Friday Funnies...
(No offense intended..)
One bright, beautiful Sunday morning, everyone in the
tiny Midwest town got up early and went to the local
church.
Before the services started, the townspeople were
sitting in their pews. Suddenly, Satan appeared at
the front of the church. Everyone started screaming
and running for the entrance, trampling each other in
a frantic effort to get away from an evil incarnate.
Soon everyone was evacuated from the church, except
for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew,
not moving .....seemingly oblivious to the fact that
God's ultimate enemy was in his presence.
Now this confused and irritated the Devil a bit, so he
walked up to the man and said, "Don't you know who I
am?"
"Yep, sure do," the elderly man said.
Satan asked, "Aren't you afraid of me?"
The man said, "Nope, sure ain't!"
Satan, a little more perturbed at this, asked, "Why
aren't you afraid of me?"
The man replied, "Been married to your sister for 56 years."
...
Lessons learned from Noah's Ark...
>
> One: Don't miss the boat.
> Two: Remember that we are all in the same boat.
> Three: Plan ahead. It wasn't raining when Noah built
the Ark.
> Four: Stay fit. When you're 600 years old, someone
may ask you to do
> something really big.
> Five: Don't listen to critics; just get on with the
job that needs to be done.
> Six: Build your future on high ground.
> Seven: For safety's sake, travel in pairs.
> Eight: Speed isn't always an advantage. The snails
were on board with the cheetahs.
> Nine: When you're stressed, float a while.
> Ten: Remember, the Ark was built by amateurs; the
Titanic by professionals.
> Eleven: No matter the storm, when you are with God,
there's always a rainbow waiting.
> |
