I'm not sure I would advocate going this far, but it's an interesting approach! I assume it's a hoax. I sure hope it is!
President Bush has announced that since the Chinese insist on an apology before releasing our troops, he decided it was in the best interests of the nation to apologize. He therefore has issued the following official apology.
To the leaders and people of China:
I hereby offer to you the apologies of the United States and the people of the United States as follows.
1. I apologize that our airplane, while flying legally over international waters and complying fully with all requirements of international law, inadvertently failed to dematerialize and vacate the air space which your pilot, in gross violation of international law, decided he wanted to simultaneously occupy.
2. I apologize for believing that the Chinese Government believed in international law, and had trained its pilots to comply with such law, and I apologize for not believing those who, rightfully, advised me that the Chinese Government have no interest at all in human decency or the demands of international law, but have determined to constitute a rogue state within the world community.
3. Finally, I apologize for not having the guts to nuke your half-assed excuse for a country back into the stone age where it belongs.
Okay, I have issued an apology. Now get our troops back home before I rethink number 3.
Oh, by the way, all this is addressed exclusively to the people and government of mainland China, not to the people and government of the free and independent nation of Taiwan. |
