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To: JayPC who wrote (1768)	4/9/2001 11:59:30 AM
From: GraceZ	Read Replies (2) of 24758

I've found that sexual harassment and rape is something that it is still very difficult to talk about with men. Even men that would never ever consider forcing a woman to have sex with them get defensive when women talk about these things. Understandingly they have a fear of being wrongly accused. I've had perfectly reasonable male friends look at me like I'm crazy when I tell them the stories that my women friends have told me about things that were done to them against their will. About half the women I know have lived through rape or rape attempts and some on numerous occasions. Almost none of these situations were ever reported to the police. It's obviously not a hard statistic because it is simply anecdotal. I believe that if you spoke with some of the men responsible you'd find plenty that thought that the woman was consenting or at least participating, even in situations where you had 14 year old girls and forty year old step fathers. It is difficult to imagine that if you are enjoying yourself that the other person isn't. While I think encouraging men to ask is a good thing, how can you possibly subject that suggestion to a judgment panel? There is a good reason that the courts require such strong evidence to prove rape and the burden of proof is on the accuser. It should be. OTOH if you've ever been in a court room when a rape trial was going on you'd begin to wonder who was on trial, the man accused of rape or the woman accuser. For this reason men that are habitual rapists tend to pick on women who's reputations won't stand up in court. I worked with criminally insane men for a while when I was in my twenties, I've met more than a few of these guys. It's easy to point at them and say, yeah no doubt these guys belong in jail because the things that they did to women were so horrible and the evidence was so irrefutable. What isn't so easy is to judge a man in a date rape situation, or a sexual harassment situation. You are always thinking that perhaps she misread the situation, or he did. A lot of how you would judge has to do with intention. I don't think that you can leave these things up to a panel of college kids to decide. If there has been a crime committed it is up to a court of law and the defendant deserves due process, always. This is the biggest problem with these kinds of rules. You are protecting one segments rights at the expense of another.

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