1. When his .38-caliber revolver failed to fire at its intended victim
> during a holdup in Long Beach, California, robber James Elliot did something
> that can only inspire wonder: he peered down the barrel and tried the
> trigger again. Happily for most concerned, this time it worked.
>
> 2. Laborer Alexander Robinson of Mobile, Alabama, redefined the limits
> of tactlessness when he opened his eyes after surgery to restore his
> sight and said agreeably to his wife: 'Boy, you sure have got fat in
> four years.'
>
> 3. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting
> machine and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his
> insurance company. The company, suspecting negligence, sent out one of
> its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine out and lost
> a finger. The chef's claim was approved.
>
> 4. Mourners at the funeral of Anna Bochinsky in Moinesti, Rumania, were
> naturally somewhat taken aback when she abruptly leapt from her coffin
> as it was being carried to the grave. Before they could react to this
> unexpected outburst, the woman bounded into the nearest road, where she
> was run over and killed by a passing car.
>
> 5. An American tourist in South America had the misfortune to be attacked
> by killer bees as he stood on the bank of the Amazon. Seeking refuge,
> he leapt into the river - and was devoured by piranha fish.
>
> 6. A Malaysian monkey that had been trained to gather coconuts from trees
> demonstrated a pressing need for a refresher course when it leapt onto
> the shoulders of a passerby in Kuala Lumpur and tried to twist his head
> off. The passerby was treated at a local hospital for a sprained neck.
>
> 7. In Fort Lauderdale, Florida, a sixteen-year-old youth was charged
> with beating up his fifteen-year-old wife after the latter hid the caps
> to his toy pistol.
>
> 8. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during
> a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken
> the space. Understandably, he shot her dead.
>
> 9. One of the criteria by which Miss Nude USA was chosen in 1979 was
> taste in clothing.
>
> 10.After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver
> found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting
> from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence,
> the driver went to a nearby bus-stop and offered everyone in the queue
> a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital,
> telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to
> bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.
>
> 11.In Minneapolis, USA, 28 year old Derrick L Richardson has been charged
> with third-degree murder of his much loved cousin, Ken E Richardson.
> According to local police, Derrick had suggested to Ken that they play
> a game of Russian Roulette, but, having no revolver, instead put a semiautomatic
> pistol to his cousin's head. Apparently, he did not realize that one
> bullet always loads into the firing chamber of a semiautomatic.
>
> 12.Texan prisons have banned convicts on death row from having a last
> cigarette, on the grounds that it is bad for their health. However, to
> compensate for this, condemned men will instead be permitted to chew
> a stick of celery.
>
> 13.An American teenager was in the hospital yesterday recovering from
> serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked about
> how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply
> trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before
> he was hit.
>
> 14.Thrash-happy judges in Saudi Arabia have sentenced a Filipino man
> to 75 lashes for possession of alcohol - after he was caught with two
> chocolate liqueurs at an airport.
>
> 15.Following the initiatives of the Afghan Taliban government, which
> has banned kite-flying, TV watching and wearing white socks, Iran is
> also cracking down on its more decadent citizens. Ayatollah Mohammed
> Yadzi has decreed that dog walking is to be made illegal, saying that
> taking dogs out onto the streets was 'a public insult,' as it was a blind
> imitation of Westerners.
>
> 16.A mother took her daughter to the doctor and asked him to give her
> an examination to determine the cause of her daughter's swollen abdomen.
> It only took the doctor about 2 seconds to say "Gimmee a break lady!
> Your daughter is pregnant." The mother turned red with fury and she argued
> with the doctor that her daughter was a good girl and would never compromise
> her reputation by having sex with a boy. The doctor faced the window
> and silently watched the horizon. The mother became enraged an screamed,
> "Quit looking out the window! Aren't you paying attention to me?" "Yes,
> of course I am paying attention ma'am. It's just that the last time this
> happened, a star appeared in the east, and three wise men came. I was
> hoping they would show up again and help me figure out who got your daughter
> pregnant". |
