Billionaire Duck Paralyzed After Tragic Dive in Money Vault
By Health Watch
Surveillance tape of the Scrooge McDuck´s tragic accident.
URL: thesatyr.com
(TheSatyr.com) ORLANDO, FL -- Billionaire socialite duck Scrooge McDuck was paralyzed from the neck down Saturday, after breaking his spinal chord diving 21 feet into a pile of gold in his personal money vault.
McDuck, 84, was discovered in a coma by his nephews, Huey, Dewey and Louie six hours after the incident, who then called the Duckville police for assistance.
According to nephews, McDuck had grown quite eccentric in the last three to four years and had been suppressing a tremendous urge to swim in the pile of gold held in his money vault.
"Last year we found Uncle Scrooge barely breathing after diving into his gold from five feet off the ground. We can't understand what would have made him decide to dive again," said Guey, noting that his wealthy uncle regularly departs on small weekly adventures and has survived worse scraps than this.
McDuck currently lies in a critical condition in the ICU of Duckville General Hospital.
McDuck's fortune, estimated at 60,000,000 quackaroos, may not be enough to buy him back the ability to walk. According to examining doctors, the wealthy debutant, who is listed as the world's third richest duck, had his spinal chord broken in four separate areas, making a complete recovery next to impossible.
"The most I can say is that right now Mr. McDuck is lucky to be alive," said Dr. Mallard Beakmore, noting that the next seven days will be crucial to McDuck's survival.
It is expected that next week he will mysteriously be able to walk again and no mention will be made of his current state of paralysis.
-- Avi Muchnick
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