Two buddies, Jeff and Steve, are getting very drunk at a bar when suddenly Jeff throws up all over himself. "Oh, no," he gasps, " Jane will kill me!!"
"Don't worry, pal.," Steve replies. "Just tuck a twenty in your breast pocket and tell Jane that someone threw up on you and gave you twenty dollars for the dry cleaning bill."
So they stay another couple hours getting steadily drunker. Eventually Jeff rolls home.
Jane immediate starts in on him. "You reek of alcohol and you puked all over yourself!" she screams. "My God, you are disgusting!"
"Nowainaminit," says Jeff, speaking very carefully so as not to slur, "I can e'splain everything! Itsh not what you thinks, I only had a couple drinks! But this other guy got sick on me. He'd had one too many and cou'n't hold his liquor! He said he was sorry an' gave me twenty bucks for the cleaning bill!"
Jane looks in his breast pocket. "But this is forty dollars!" she exclaims.
"Oh yea..." says Jeff. "I almos' forgot! He shit in my pants, too." |
