To a Mouse: On trying to log onto Internet via Modem to the Scottish National University microVax cluster, November 1785.
Wee, sleekit, cowrin, tim'rous beastie,
You cause panic in my breastie!
Thou fillst my screen sae hasty
Wi' bickering brattle!
I was be laith to rin an' chase thee,
Wi' murdering pattle!
I'm truly sorry to see my union
broken by computer dominion
an' justifies my ill opinion
which makes thee rattle
all I seekst my sweet companion
An' fellow mortal
Her name is Jessie, fair I guess
I niver did yet see Jess
her Email sings o' golden hair,
her fingers nimble
as she types in caps and bold...
I hope she's no old!
Now my screen is bare and waste
an' weary I am come at last
I canna log on the VAX cluster
for students load 'em
In droves and counts past muster
they block the modem.
Och beastie, thou art not to blame
that I am turnin' nae insane
The best-laid schemes o' mice an' men
Gang aft agley,
An' lea'e us naught but grief an' pain,
For promised joy.
Still tho art blest, compared wi' me!
I'll use the hand that toucheth thee
to access Jessie's floppy drives
I do vow yet. --
or gie up all intercourse
on Internet!
Copyright © 1994 David W. Galbraith, Tucson, Arizona |
