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Strategies & Market Trends : Investment in Russia and Eastern Europe

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To: Z Analyzer who wrote (1114)4/30/2001 4:59:31 PM
From: CIMA   of 1301
 
EURO-SPEAK - another benefit of centralised planning.

The European Commission has announced an agreement whereby English
will be the official language of the EU rather than German, which was
the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's
Government conceded that English spelling had some room for
improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in plan that would be
known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly this will
make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped
in favour of the "k". This would klear up konfusion and keyboards kan
have 1 less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the
troublesome "ph" will be replased with "f". This will make words
like "fotograf" 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be
ekspekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are
possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters,
which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil
agre that the horible mes of the silent "e" in the language is
disgraseful, and it should go away.

By the fourth year peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing
"th" with "z'" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz year, ze unesesary
"o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud
of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be
no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to understand
each ozer.

Ze drem vil finali kum tru!

And zen ve vil tak over ze vorld!!

(And al hy skool kids wil get strait A's for speling)
--
"Not everything that counts can be counted, and not everything that
can be counted counts."
- sign over Albert Einstein's desk at Princeton
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