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Non-Tech : E*Trade (NYSE:ET)
ET 16.53-1.8%3:59 PM EST
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To: Phil Tran who started this subject5/2/2001 7:08:56 PM
From: thomas odonoghue   of 13953
 
ET and friends..Just for Laughs, No real value at all

> >Stock Market Dictionary for the past year investor
> >
> >
> > Momentum Investing - The fine art of buying high and selling low.
> >
> > Value Investing - The art of buying low and selling lower.
> >
> > Broker - Poorer than you were in 1999.
> >
> > P/E ratio - The percentage of investors wetting their pants as this
> >market keeps crashing.
> >
> > "Buy,Buy" - A flight attendant making market recommendations as you
> >step off the plane.
> >
> > Standard & Poor - Your life in a nut shell.
> >
> > Stock Analyst - Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
> >
> > Bull Market - A random market movement causing an investor to
> > mistake himself for a financial genius.
> >
> > Bear Market - A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no
> > allowance, the wife gets no jewelry and the husband gets no sex.
> >
> > Stock split - When your ex-wife and her lawyer split all your
> > assets equally between themselves.
> >
> > Financial Planner - A guy who actually remembers his wallet when he
> >runs to the 7-11 for toilet paper and cigarettes.
> >
> > Market Correction - The day after you buy stocks.
> >
> > Cash Flow - The movement your money makes as it disappears down the
> >toilet.
> >
> > Call Option - Something people used to do with a telephone in
> > ancient times before e-mail.
> >
> > Day Traitor - Someone who is disloyal from 9-5.
> >
> > Microsoft - A condition temporarily remedied by Viagra.
> >
> > Cisco - Side kick of Poncho.
> >
> > Yahoo - What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $540
> >per share.
> >
> > Windows 2000 - What you jump out of when you're the sucker that
> > bought Yahoo for $540 per share.
> >
> > Institutional Investor - Past year investor who's now locked up in
> > a nut house.
> >
> > Profit - Religious guy who talks to God.
> >
> > Bill Gates - Where God goes for a loan.
> >
> > Alan Greenspan - God.
> >
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