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Pastimes : CNBC Maria Bartiromo Fan Club
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To: Wallace Rivers who wrote (130)6/12/1997 10:36:00 AM
From: Grant Froese of Calgary   of 2324
 
Grant Froese's Top Ten Reasons Why CNBC Will Never Fire Maria Bartiromo:

10. Great T&A and no we don't mean "technical analysis"

9. She took the precaution of sprinkling fingerprint dust over the back of her dress before going to her midnight "job interview" with GE/CNBC chairman, Jack Welch at the midtown Sheraton.

8. Joe Kernan's gay following will never be able to match Maria's geek following in numbers.

7. During "Street Signs," Maria's beauty distracts the audience long enough for Ron Insana to reapply his toupee.

6. Though he badly needs one, Mark Haines doesn't look nearly as nice in a push up bra as Maria does.

5. Wimpy David Faber would never last 5 minutes on the floor of the NYSE before some trader made him his girlfriend.

4. CNBC is waiting until October to air Maria's lesbian "coming out" show with her new "gal pal" Anne Heche.

3. Even the Jaws of Life couldn't cram Sue Herrera's figure into Maria's old wardrobe.

2. Maria's uncle Vito Corleone from the Sicily knows where all the CNBC executives live, capische paesan.

1. Ever since the margin call from the Bre-X, CNBC viewers don't have enough money to log on to their favorite cybersex websites and Maria is the closest thing they can get for their daily porn fix.

No offense is intended toward Italians or Italian Americans. I consider myself part of Maria's geek following.

Best Regards,
Grant
Coli Brothers Forever
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