You have #5 on the way, KR!!!! Congratulations! That's really exciting (and scary).
We were sitting in back of a couple at awards night who have a daughter graduating and I was feeling a little sorry and a lot of envy-- they had a 12, a 6 and a 4 with them, and then she stood up and she was very pregnant. They are all girls (including the one on the way) except the poor 6 year old. She's 41. Said she can't even contemplate still having to do this for another 18 years. I decided I was not envious after all.
What would I have done differently? Maybe I should ask the boys what they would rather we had done differently. That might be more informative.
Probably I would worry less about a lot of things that in retrospect seem so silly. And I would spend not one second being concerned about whether my child was "fitting in" or meeting other people's expectations. I wish it hadn't taken so long for me to realize that most people don;t know jack, they just think they do, even, maybe especially, the "professionals". I would have homeschooled for the early years because my opinion of our system has really deteriorated-- not my opinion of the teachers, some of whom were excellent, but of the gutted and restrictive curriculum and requirements in education, and the fact that schools just can't meet special needs-- and probably all children have special needs.
I wonder how many parents realize (as I know you do) that the Friday Folders are not about seeing a grade or measuring success or failure, it's about taking time to make sure your child knows how important she is to you. It's a time to encourage strengths and interests, and reinforce her belief in herself, and most of all, for a parent to listen.
I would listen lots more, and talk a lot less.
I would travel more with them, tell the school to shut up when we took them out for special things. This time around I would know that grades don't mean diddly and failure in math does not doom a child to a life of despair and disaster.
I would fight tooth and nail against the people who tried to turn them into something other than what they were born to be. And I would go to the mat against an administration that tolerated a teacher who hated kids. I can't BELIEVE how many teachers don't LIKE KIDS unless they are the robot kids who fit the mold. It's awfully hard not to buy into society's definition of success.
I am rambling. But it's fun.
Back to Awards Night.... there were, as there were the year CW graduated, the high achievers, the ones who had the GPA of 4+, and that's great. But there were also the ones like Ammo, who was definitely NOT in the top 10% of the class, who couldn't get through Physics despite the fact that to be aa "SUCCESS" Scholar you had to pass higher math, but who got the departmental award in theatre, who was wearing two state championship rings, and who is going to one of the top theatre programs in the country (he is one of only 8 males accepted into the Acting BFA program at USC) and whose list of scholarship offers elicited oohs from the audience (probably of shock from classmates and teachers- Ammo got all THAT? He's barely passing pre-cal).
I would make it easier for my kids to be different. Remember Kermit singing "It's not easy being green"?Well, why the hell not?
We should make it easier and acceptable for our kids to be any color they choose to be. |
