Dear Mr. Krim and Ms. Chen,
Thank you for your recent application to join the 4th Floor Water Club ("WC").
However, due to overwhelming demand for admission into the WC and our high-quality, low-cost Water, I cannot grant you admission into the WC at this time.
You will receive consideration for next month's admission window upon the re- execution of the Waiver of Legal Claims ("WLC") and the Financial Disclosure Statement ("FDS"). The FDS is especially important since Ms.Chen claims poverty. The FDS and WLC should be notorized by and licensed notary public.
Because of the recent heightend demand for admission into the Club, the following documents should also be submitted by hopeful applicants in addition to the WLC and the FDS:
1. A notarized Physician Certification ("PC") certifying that the Applicant is not a carrier of any Class II communicable airborne diseases.
2. A notarized Psychiatric Certification ("PsC") certifying that the Applicant is not afflicted by any compulsive disorder wherein Applicant places mouth on the water spigot when obtaining water from the Water Cooler.
3. A notarized Brokerage Ratio Certification ("BRC") which states that the Applicant has a ratio not exceeding 65% equity to debt ratio of marginable securities. A drop below 65% shall result in a "Water Call" and Applicant's water privileges will be suspended within 3 days unless sufficient cash or marginable securities are redeposited in the account. The purpose of this requirement is to prevent undue water consumption by those under severe financial stress.
4. A notarized Spousal Consent Form ("SCF") indicating the consent of the spouse and notice to the Spouse of possible fraternization with other members of the Water Club.
An appropriately filled out application to the Water Club will contain a notarized original and 3 copies of the WLC, FDC, PC, PsC, BRC, and SCF, along with a $75 non-refundable application fee. A full one year advanced payment of $100 for Water services is also required at the time of application. |
