Clappy "The Electrician" gets home after a long day of eating dust, busting his knuckles and fighting traffic.
His low hanging pants and slow shuffle up the stairs indicate that his his 1 1/2 hour commute didn't go much better than the rest of his day.
He smiles for the first time all day as his 4-year-old and 5-year-old boys do a mad dash to get to him and deliver the day's first "Super Hug".
He continues his tired stroll across the kitchen as the two youngsters simultaneous attempt to explain their entire day from start to beginning in two minutes time using a volume almost equal to the blaring cartoons coming from the living room television set.
The partially morphed Clappy "The Electrician/Family Man" leans over to kiss his lovely wife who smiles and winks at him in full understandment that tonight may require one of his three favorite meals for dinner to help prevent him from having something to whine about.
As he puts his half empty travel-coffee mug into the half cluttered sink, the dog scratches at his pants leg wagging her tail like she's winding her self up, and immediately begins demanding one of the dog treats that she expects every single time he happens to walk into the kitchen.
The slow swagger continues down the hallway until he reaches the foot of his bed where he attempts to complete his transformation from from electrician to family man.
He swears he can see steam wafting up and out of his work shoes as each one hits the floor.
He attempts his daily basketball-like foul shot routine using his rolled up socks, trying to get them into the hamper without hitting the hangered-shirt-backboard.
Swish.
Swish.
Two points.
Now its time for one of the best feelings of the day.
He takes his left foot and inserts it into his tattered, falling-apart-at-the-seams, formerly beige moccasin slippers. The type have the super soft sole. Made from the same thin suede leather material as the rest of the slipper.
He follows through with the right foot.
Ahhhhhh!
As he wiggles his softly covered toes, he smiles for the 2nd time all day.
There has been several attempts to replace his old slippers, but all of those missions by his wife have failed.
The replacements are piled up in the closet.
The red ones made out of polyester.
The blue ones made from something similar to polyester.
The ones his mother gave him that were a good attempt at being a replacement because they were moccasin type but unfortunately have a rubber sole and fit too tightly.
These orphaned slippers sit there hoping some day for the old ones to become unrepairable.
Waiting for their time in the sun.
Waiting to be loved.
They may be waiting for quite a long time...
Clappy The Slipper Wearing Family Man makes his way down stairs quietly sneaking past the blaring television set with the two rug rats seated two feet away from it.
He makes it all the way down without allowing a single step to creek. Only he knows this proper combination of foot work and banister holding.
Awaiting him at the bottom of the stairs and down the hall is the door to his Labor-a-tory.
His Secret lair.
The room where the rest of his transformation will take place.
The huge, heavy, wooden door slowly squeaks open.
He brushes away a cob web as he peeks his head through.
Although the self employed electrician installed approximately 16 recessed light fixtures in addition to the two table lamps and two ceiling fans in that room, he always chooses to leave the lights off.
The glow of the surge protector attached to his computer is enough to help him find his way to his desk.
Clappy sits down and straps himself into his turbo charged, mag wheeled, swivel chair.
He presses the ignition button to his fuel injected, dual exhaust, high performance Gateway PC.
He feels the thunder as his hard drives begin spinning and little green indicator lights start blinking.
The large monitor begins flashing bright lettering on and off as it goes through a series or procedures before it allows itself to reach warp speed.
Suddenly there is a bright flash.
The white light coming off of the 17 inch monitor warms his face as he feels the speed increasing.
Little icons magically begin to appear.
His heart begins the rumble at the same pace of the multi-gigabyte hard drive.
He begins shifting gears at a fierce pace using the keyboard shaped shifter and the mouse-like navigation unit.
Click!
Click, click!
As the RPMS begin to wind higher he enters his password, puts on his goggles and scarf and hits the enter key accelerator pedal.
The 56k modem begin screaming as it attempts to complete the leap into cyber space!
The room begins shaking.
Books fall from the shelves of the near by case.
Holding on tightly, Clappy and his machine are suddenly pulled into a blackened worm hole.
Faster and faster they scream through fibers of glass and switches.
The transformation is beginning!
It's finally happening!!
Clappy has morphed once again!!!
I AM CLAPPY, THE WEB SURFING, STOCK PICKING, STORY TELLING, CYBER JUNKY!!!!
-Clappy
P.S. The light speed of his trip quickly comes to a grinding halt as he waits for SI's servers to burp a little and allow him to see if this story makes it onto this thread...
He waits...
...and waits...
Pretty slow tonight...
<g> |
