... tried to take a step towards the bat guy. But, he couldn't. Octopussy's strong protective grip held him in place. Bugs snarled at Octopussy, obviously upset that he would interrupt the dramatic moment when Bugs could really show off his heroism traits.
Precious suddenly remembered that she had kept a sample of that leaflet that was dropped from the crashing B17. She reached into her Jordache jeans pocket and pulled it out. "Hmmm", she said to no one in particular. "It says here that this guy has a criminal record. It says here he used a baseball bat to settle an argument in a bar. Messed up the bouncers something fierce. Spent some time in the slammer."
The sound of air rushing filled the elevator, as everybody as a group collectively sucked in a fresh breath. They each had their own personal vision of a maniac swinging a bat in their direction.
"Sixty five", said Precious.
"Sixty five?", asked Erroll. "What do you mean? He did that crime in 1965?"
"No, silly", responded Precious. "Sixty five words on the leaflet."
Everybody on the elevator rolled their eyes heavenward, realizing that it was just another Precious moment. The bat guy, who was not aware of Precious' tendency to count things, had a confused look on his face.
The dramatic moment was interrupted briefly, as the local chapter of CLIMATE (Conditioned Living In Metropolitan Areas Through Erudition, a volunteer group whose sole purpose for existence was to educate large corporations on how to most efficiently operate the air conditioning and heating systems in their place of business) marched by on their way to the cafeteria. What a coincidence that today happened to be their normally scheduled "Lunch in the Black Corporation Building" day. It was fortunate for the CLIMATE group that the earthquake had not destroyed their favorite luncheon spot, which, of course, also happened to be a model implementation of proper climate control.
Leading the CLIMATE group was, ... who else? ... CLIMATE Control. He immediately recognized Erroll (aka: PEST Control) from their monthly Control Knights meetings down at the Ilks' Lodge. CLIMATE Control nodded to PEST Control, then continued onward to the cafeteria, seemingly oblivious to the potentially hazardous situation PEST Control was facing.
Bugs (our hero!) quickly took advantage of the latest interruption and unwound himself from Octopussy's tight protective grip. He was now standing toe to toe with the baseball bat guy.
"Identify yourself", growled Bugs, in his most menacing "I'm in charge around here" tone of voice.
This swift change of circumstances stunned the baseball bat wielding guy, who up until then had obviously been in charge of the situation. He took a step backward, and raised the bat in a defensive posture.
"I never played baseball!", growled Bugs. "That's just a game that underachieving testosterone overloaded macho types play. Can't you tell that I'm a bonified super-hero? Now ... who are you, really, and what do you want? I'm not buying that baseball story. What a crock!"
While Bugs had been monopolizing the bat guy's attention, Iggy the Iguana had surreptitiously (big word, eh?) crawled around behind him. He and Bugs had played this game before. Iggy would crawl up right behind a guy, and Bugs would push the guy backwards. The guy would lose his balance and fall down, thus giving Bugs the upper hand. Hey, it's an old school yard trick, but even the super-heroes use it on occasion!
Muffy, who wasn't aware of the Bugs/Iggy plan, screamed at Iggy, "Be careful! You might get stepped on!".
This alerted the bat guy to the Bugs/Iggy plan just in time for him to step over the tricky Iguana. He glared back at Bugs, screamed some obscenities normally reserved for those bar rooms where he supposedly attacked the bouncers, and began swinging his bat.
Rear Admiral, apparently oblivious to the battle about to take place, said, "Hey. Post # 434. Nice Palindrome!".
The bat guy heard that, and stopped for a moment. "Palindrome?", he queried. "What the heck does that have to do with anything?"
Octopussy took advantage of the momemtary break in the action, swung one of his free tentacles out towards the bat guy, and grabbed the bat. He and the bat guy struggled for control. |
