While Octopussy and the bat guy were wrestling with the bat, Bugs Pond (our hero!) thought back over the recent events. "Hmmmm", pondered Bugs. "This guy could be useful. He's obviously good at making up stories. I'll bet PEST Control can use his persuasive talents to manipulate this guy into doing just about anything we want."
Octopussy succeeded in wrestling the bat from the guy's hands, then presented it to Bugs. Bugs took it and glanced at it just long enough to read "Canadian Baseball League" on the bat. The guy made an almost imperceptible gutteral sound, obviously worried that whatever was going to happen next would not be favorable to his existence.
"OK, bucko", said Bugs, feeling much safer now that he was the one holding the bat. "Now, let's have it. Who are you, and what do you want?"
"Hey, don't hit me! I'm just a tourist, passing through town", said the bat guy. "I'm here for the regional golf tournament. I have a nine handicap. My name is Irons. Rusty Irons".
Bugs immediately recognized his name. Rusty Irons had received his super-hero training at the same secret military compound where Bugs did. But, Rusty just didn't have the machismo to pass the exams. And, his tendency to constantly grumble about the conditions at the compound irritated the instructors. They relegated Rusty to "go-fer" status. They knew he'd believe just about anything, and was easily manipulated. When Rusty finally realized his super-hero status was not to be achieved, he left the compound broken hearted. He hadn't been heard from since.
Now, here he stood. A broken down, super-hero wannabe. Bugs surmised that Rusty had been wandering the country, looking for a real super-hero to emulate.
Bugs explained all this to the group in the elevator. They listened politely, then at the appropriate moments, they simultaneously uttered the obligatory "Awwwwwww"s.
Bugs surmised that he could enlist this hapless Canadian baseball bat carrying golfer to advance his own scheme to take control of PEST. He'd just string him along until the appropriate time, then dump him like so many others he had used in his rise to stardom.
Bugs invited Rusty Irons to join them. Rusty was ecstatic that somebody would actually want him in their group! He immediately accepted, and walked with them to the cafeteria.
Bugs handed Rusty the baseball bat, and made a note to himself to keep a watchful eye on this new addition to the team. "I'll not be turning my back on this one", thought Bugs.
"Seven", said Precious, as she counted the number of entrees on the menu. |
