... a long tentacle slowly emerged from the bowl.
Muffy breathed a sigh of relief. She had grown fond of Octopussy, and hoped that soon she would feel his strong tentacles around her again. A brief thought of Octopussy's strong embrace brought back fond memories of that handsome Physical Fitness trainer back at the orphanage. It felt sooo good as he massaged her with his big strong hands and arms. And, the private workouts ... but, that's not important right now.
Bugs Pond (our hero!) was stunned at the sight of not one, but TWO renditions of PEST Control. He didn't know anything about Erroll's background, other than the radiation mishap which gave Erroll his speech capability.
"Hey, Precious ...", said Bugs. "How did you know that other hamster wasn't our fearless leader, Erroll (aka: PEST Control)?"
Precious, basking in her newfound fame as Identity Master, paused to formulate just the right response.
"Aw, shucks", she said, blushing slightly. "It was really quite elementary, my dear Bugs. I had counted the whiskers on Erroll during a prior encounter, and noticed that the lowest whisker on his left side had been truncated. That other hamster has a full complement of whiskers."
Erroll nodded his cute little hamster head, and told them all about the time during the great blackout of '97 when all the power in the city had gone out. Erroll, his mother, and his 5 siblings had been frightened by the sudden darkness. Erroll, even at that young age had the super-hero instinct about him. He had stumbled his way through the darkness to the shelf on the wall of the Hamster Hut(tm), where he retrieved the candle and matches. He fumbled in the dark with the matches, but failed to light the first one. He had brought the matchbook closer to his face so he could get a better look at the striking surface, then tried the next one. It burst into flames, burning the end off his lower left whisker. It was then that Erroll decided he would no longer smoke. Not even those funny looking roll your own cigarettes. A health hazard, for sure.
During this elongated discussion of Erroll's past, his twin sister, Meryl, nodded at the appropriate times. She began to sob at the mention of her mother. Even though Mom had eaten the rest of Meryl's siblings, Meryl still had a soft spot in her heart for dear old Mom. Every Mothers' Day, Meryl would sit on the sofa and browse through the "Creative Memories" album she had put together. She missed her two sisters, Alva and Emma ... but she couldn't really find anything in her heart to mourn over the loss of her other brother, Alva's twin Alvin. He had such a mean streak in him. Meryl felt guilty about her lack of compassion for a family member. It was this guilt that kept Meryl in the background for all these years, as her twin brother Erroll's career skyrocketed. She was jealous of Erroll. He got all the lucky breaks. "That radiation mishap should have been MINE!", thought Meryl.
Meanwhile, Bugs Pond (our hero!) had looked into the mixing bowl containing a still sickly Octopussy.
"Hmmmm", thought Bugs. "He still looks dehydrated. He doesn't seem to be absorbing the alcohol quickly enough. Maybe if we poke some holes in him, more alcohol will enter his bloodstream."
Bugs looked around for something to aerate Octopussy. He saw the really, really sharp knives that were used by the kitchen staff for slicing up vegetables. "No, they won't do", thought Bugs. "I need something to poke with, not slice."
He then noticed our baseball bat carrying golfer, Rusty Irons. Naturally, Rusy had brought his trusty baseball bat with him into the kitchen. (Hey, don't YOU take YOUR baseball bat everywhere YOU go?)
"Maybe if I break his bat with my bare super-hero hands, I can use the sharp splintered ends to poke tiny holes into Octopussy", thought Bugs aloud.
He walked towards Rusty, who had overheard Bugs vocal thoughts. Rusty's eyes got big as saucers. [Editor's note: How big is that? A small teacup saucer, a more standard sized coffee cup saucer ... or the size of one of those flying saucers from our previous movie, "The Revenge of the Extra Terrestrials"?]
[Editor's edit: Hey, is a 3 digit sequence (456) a good grub?] |
