<<Her mind wandered, as she daydreamed of his reptilian tounge [sic] ... >>
...i.e.,until she was jolted out of her reverie by thoughts of Twista, the artist formerly known as Tounge Twista, who had just ascended the stage and ripped the karaoke mike out of Precious' slippery grip.
(http://imusic.artistdirect.com/showcase/urban/twista.html)
This prompted an adrenaline rush of such mammoth proportions to overcome Muffy that she could no longer remain upright. She plopped into a nearby chair, causing the Gator King to spill half his Mai Tai right into her lap.
"Look what you did!" cried Muffy, as she surveyed the ruin
of yet another outfit. The Gator King would have raised an eyebrow at that remark, if he had one. Instead, he flexed his mighty mandibles in Muffy's general direction,
especially when he noticed that the spillage had affected his own attire.
"My tie!" he wailed.
Overhearing the commotion, Mai Tee, with Iggy in tow, hurried over to lend his day-saving abilities to the situation.
Sensing that the King's mood was less than friendly,
Mai Tee initially opted for diplomacy.
He said: "Mai Tee will bring you another Mai Tai and then you'll feel better."
"It's not your tie, it's MY TIE," replied the King in a petulant tone.
"That may be so, but half of it is on Muffy's dress
and the rest is on that mufti tie," commented Mai Tee,
who by now was ready to abandon any semblance of tact.
"Might I offer a suggestion..." ventured Iggy.
"NO!" replied the King and Mai Tee, as they turned to
face the now quivering Iguana. ("I don't get paid enough for this," thought Iggy ruefully.)
"Where do you get off calling me a civilian," the Gator
King demanded of Mai Tee. "Don't you know that, as Gator King, I'm the commander in chief of the armed forces!"
This caught the attention of the remaining reptiles, who were distracted from their libations, knowing fighting words when they heard them.
Noticing that his audience had increased, the Gator King bellowed:
"Muffy made my Mai Tai mess my tie
and Mai Tee made me mad so I
must make of him a mousemeat pie!"
"Hey!" shouted Twista from the stage.
"You're a cool guy with the lyrics there, bro'.
I bet I could work you into my act!"
Never one to miss a chance at advancing his career,
the Gator King regarded Twista. "You got a contract handy there, dude?" he said.
"Sure do," replied Twista. "Let's rap."
The Gator King turned on his heel and joined
Twista at a nearby table, without even a glance
in Muffy's direction.
"My hero," thought Muffy. "Just when I was
that close to being a Queen, he's
opting for a career change."
Never one to miss an opportunity, Mai Tee placed a double Mai Tai in Muffy's hand and invited her to join him at a nearby booth. Dusting off his best pick-up line of all time,
Mai Tee leaned over to Muffy and whispered :.......... |
