Norma ...
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Raccoons
Friend or Fiend?
by Samantha Martin
It is late and I have just returned from an evening out, to discover complete chaos. The sink is overflowing with water, while broken dishes scatter the floor and the contents of every cabinet lay strewn about the place. Rounding the corner, I discover the contents of several food bins poured out onto the floor, quickly turning to mush from the flooded sink. My 10 cats stare down at me from their highest perch, looking offended and annoyed at the obvious intrusion. Has a burglar broken in? Cautiously I round the corner. Hearing a noise coming from the bathroom, I go to investigate. As I peek around the corner, I see I see two sets of eyes staring back at me. Quickly switching on the light, I an overwhelmed at the sight before me: Wet toilet paper has been strewn about the bathroom, while another full roll bobs up and down in the toilet. The medicine cabinet has been emptied, and most of its contents are also in the bowl. Two masked bandits are responsible for this chaos: My Raccoons! The pair of them look up at me like two guilty teenagers getting caught throwing a wild party. "Ricky! Rocky!," I exclaim. Realizing that they are just being typical raccoons, my anger quickly subsides. Besides, how can you stay mad at an animal that covers his eyes when you yell at him?
Raccoons as Pets
I would like to introduce you to Ricky and Rocky, my famous basketball-playing raccoons. I got the pair of them when they were only ten days old, so small I could fit one in each hand. Now almost three years later, they are definitely more than a handful. I like to get animals as young as possible to create a stronger bond with them. Since Ricky and Rocky still had their eyes closed, I am sure they think of me as a big, bald raccoon.
Getting animals before they are weaned has its drawbacks, and you must be prepared to take on all the roles of an animal mother. This will include many sleepless nights, as baby raccoons have a strong set of lungs on them and do not hesitate to let you know when they need something. Usually I use my thumb as a pacifier, which they will contentedly suck on all night. Unfortunately as they become older and bigger they switch over to arms and neck in the middle of the night, causing me to wake up with many 'hickeys'. Once past the first six or eight weeks, raccoons become a 'dream pet.' Young raccoons are playful, affectionate, curious, and they use a litter box faithfully.
Raccoons will also develop friendships with your other pets, when they are raised with them. I once had a raccoon that was friendly with a squirrel, woodchuck and a cat. They would all take naps together. My young raccoons generally sleep with me at night, and have run of my apartment when I am there to supervise. Unsupervised raccoons get bored and will find trouble. One raccoon in particular loved to sit on the couch with me and watch television. Of course he would also empty the contents of my purse continually, as raccoons always like to keep their hands busy.
Baby raccoons always want to be by your side, and will cry if they cannot find you. I put a harness on them at six or seven weeks so I can take them on adventures. They generally do well on a leash if introduced early enough. I also give them plenty of toys to keep them busy and out of trouble. Since raccoons are very intelligent, I like to teach them a few fun tricks.
Teaching an animal a trick is a fun way of communicating with them and is not cruel when done correctly. Animals enjoy using their brain, especially raccoons. I have taught my raccoons to shoot basketballs. It took about three weeks of working patiently with them every day. The day they finally picked up that ball and put in a hoop was exciting for both the raccoons and me. It was as though a light clicked on in their heads and we had found a common language. They seemed to laugh as they tossed ball after ball into the hoop. Of course I rewarded them amply after each shot, as raccoons do not necessarily do things for free. As I said before young raccoons are delightful pets for the first few months, but then the inevitable happens...
They change.
Raccoons and The Change
Raccoons, young and old, have an insatiable desire to explore and destroy. They will investigate every nook and cranny in your home, sometimes not so delicately. Raccoons have such nimble fingers that they can pickpocket something as thin as a dime out of your pocket, and 'hide your keys' is often a favorite raccoon game. I buy one of those children's safety kits to raccoon-proof my home, sometimes to no avail.
The refrigerator is quickly associated with food, and raccoons will not hesitate to help themselves. Anything upright will be knocked over and anything closed will get opened. They will search every pocket in every piece of clothing, sometimes making new 'pockets' in the process. I never drink anything out of a normal glass, as the moment I put it down, invading paws will investigate and invert it. Raccoons feel that toiletries and cosmetics are made to dunk 'in the toilet', and toilet paper "sure is fun if it is wet." Anytime I mop the floor; my raccoons run to my side to 'help' by exuberantly tipping over my full bucket of mop water. Raccoons love to play, and your home becomes one big playground.
Living with raccoons is like have ungrateful and unruly teenagers living in your home, that drink all your beer and trash you place (and I thought I could escape the 'karma train' of what I did to my parents by not having human children...HA!) At first, you can probably curb some of this behavior with gentle reprimands. They will just scuttle off and find something else to play with. Nevertheless, the day will come when you go to retrieve something from your fun-loving, pet that he will retort and try to take your face off!
Your beloved baby has just become a ‘teenager’. Dr. Jekyl has turned into Mr. Hyde. At this point a raccoon can become dangerous! A full-grown raccoon has a bite that is strong enough to take off a finger! In a time span of only seconds they can go from licking your hands, to leaping at your face. The only warning may be a twitch of the ear or a look in their eye.
I always warn people that if the raccoons take something of yours, DO NOT try to grab it back. You must barter with a raccoon, by offering it something more appealing. Raccoons live by the rule of 'what is mine is mine, and what is yours is also mine.' Sometimes I let my raccoons play in the stairwell for fun and exercise. Anytime someone attempts to come up the steps; I hear a series of intimidating snarls and growls. Pay the toll, pay the toll, the raccoons seemed to grumble, and guests quickly learned to arm themselves with an arsenal of chips and cookies if they wanted to get past 'the guards.'
Once a raccoon has entered this scary stage of life, a large and secure cage is necessary. Raccoons are escape artists, and will watch to learn how to open their cage. I once had a raccoon that was so smart and determined, that I had to change the types of latches on the cage several times. Finally, I put a padlock on the cage and put the keys in a drawer underneath. When I came back an hour later, that raccoon had the drawer open, and the keys out. He knew that the keys had something to do with his freedom, but could not quite figure out how to fit it in the lock.
All raccoons go through 'the change', some more extremely than others. My current raccoons, Ricky and Rocky are the most even-tempered raccoons that I have owned. However, since I raised them, I am the only one that can handle them outside of the cage. I still have to keep my guard up and watch for mood swings. In spite of all their shortcomings, they are still my favorites and I cannot imagine a life without them.
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