We've all been squashed by the universe at some time or other.
To be honest I never found any comfort in thinking it was part of a grand design.
Deteriorata
Go placidly amidst the noise and waste, and remember what comfort there
may be in owning a piece thereof. Avoid quiet and passive persons, unless
you are in need of sleep. Rotate your tires. Speak glowingly of those greater
than yourself; and heed well their advice, even though they be turkeys. Know
what to kiss - and when. Consider that two wrongs never make a right, but
that three do. Wherever possible, put people on hold. Be comforted, that in
the face of all iridity and disillusionment. and despite the changing fortunes
of time, there is always a big future in computer maintenance.
(You are a fluke of the universe.
You have no right to be here.
Whether you can hear it or not,
The universe is laughing behind your back.)
Remember the Pueblo. Strive at all times to bend, fold, spindle, and mutilate.
Know yourself. If you need help, call the FBI. Exercise caution in your daily
affairs, especially with those persons closest to you... That lemon on your left,
for instance. Be assured that a walk through the seas of most souls would
scarcely get your feet wet. Fall not in love, therefore, it will stick to your face.
Gracefully surrender the things of youth: the birds, clean air, tuna, Taiwan -
and let not the sands of time get in your lunch. Hire people with hooks. For a
good time, call 606-4311, ask for Ken. Take heart in the deepening gloom that
your dog is finally getting enough cheese. And reflect that whatever
misfortune may be your lot, it could only be worse in Milwaukee.
(You are a fluke of the universe.
You have no right to be here.
Whether you can hear it or not,
The universe is laughing behind your back.)
Therefore, make peace with your god, whatever you perceive him to be:
hairy thunderer or cosmic muffin. With all its hopes, dreams, promises, and
urban renewal, the world continues to deteriorate. GIVE UP!
(You are a fluke of the universe.
You have no right to be here.
Whether you can hear it or not,
The universe is laughing behind your back.)
(c) National Lampoon. |
