These were sent to me by someone I love, and I wanted to share them with you because they were so funny (note I cannot guarantee authenticity- but there are few guarantees in life):
> Subject: Why Athletes shouldn't be
role models...
> > > >> > > >> > > > Chicago Cubs
outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model:
> > > >> > > > "I want all the kids to do
what I do, to look up to me. I want all > the > > >kids > > > > to
copulate me."
> > >
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> > > >> > > > New Orleans Saint RB George
Rogers when asked about the upcoming > season:
> > > >> > > > "I want to rush for 1,000
or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first."
> > > >
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> > > >> > > > Football commentator and
former player Joe Theismann 1996:
> > > >> > > > "Nobody in football should
be called a genius. A genius is a guy > like > > >Norman > > > >
Einstein."
> > >
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> > > >> > > > Senior basketball player at
the University of Pittsburgh:
> > > >> > > > "I'm going to graduate on
time, no matter how long it takes."
> > >
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> > > >> > > > Bill Peterson, a Florida
State football coach:
> > > >> > > > "You guys line up
alphabetically by height." And "You guys pair up > in > > >groups > > > >
of three, then line up in a circle."
> > >
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> > > >> > > > Stu Grimson, Chicago
Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps > a > > >color > > > > photo
of himself above his locker:
> > > >> > > > "That's so when I forget
how to spell my name, I can still find my > > >clothes."
> > > >
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> > > >> > > > Shaquille O'Neal on whether
he had visited the Parthenon during his > > >visit > > >to > > > >
Greece:
> > > >> > > > "I can't really remember
the names of the clubs that we went to."
> > >
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> > > >> > > > Shaquille O'Neal, on his
lack of championships:
> > > >> > > > "I've won at every level,
except college and pro."
> > > >
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> > > >> > > > Lou Duva, veteran boxing
trainer, on the Spartan training regime of > > > > heavyweight Andrew
Golota:
> > > >> > > > "He's a guy who gets up at
six o'clock in the morning regardless of > what > > > > time it is."
> > >
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> > > >> > > > Pat Williams, Orlando Magic
general manager, on his team's 7- > 27record > > > > in1992:
> > > >> > > > "We can't win at home. We
can't win on the road. As general > manager, > I > > >just > > > > can't
figure out where else to play."
> > >
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> > > >> > > > Chuck Nevitt, North
Carolina State basketball player, explaining to > > >Coach > > > > Jim
Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice:
> > > >> > > > "My sister's expecting a
baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be > an > > >uncle > > > > or an
aunt."
> > >
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> > > >> > > > Jim Finks, New Orleans
Saints General Manager, when asked after a > loss > > >what > > > > he
thought of the refs:
> > > >> > > > "I'm not allowed to comment
on lousy no good officiating."
> > >
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> > > >> > > > Alan Kulwicki, stock car
racer, on racing Saturday nights as > opposed > to > > > > Sunday
afternoons:
> > > >> > > > "It's basically the same,
just darker."
> > > >
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> > > >> > > > Torrin Polk, University of
Houston receiver, on his coach, John > Jenkins:
> > > >> > > > "He treats us like men. He
lets us wear earrings."
> > > >
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> > > >> > > > Shelby Metcalf, basketball
coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he > told > a > > > > player who
received four F's and one D:
> > > >> > > > "Son, looks to me like
you're spending too much time on one > subject."
> > > >
> > > >
> > >
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> > > >> > > > And the Gem;
> > > >> > > > Oiler coach Bum Phillips
when asked by Bob Costas why he takes his > wife > > >on > > > > all road
trips, Phillips responded:
> > > >> > > > "Because she is too damn
ugly to kiss goodbye." |
