*** TO ALL THE CHILDREN ***
Continuation of the Foxy Tale.
The plans to create something out of nothing proceeded.
However, there were some gnomes that were interfering, spinning a web
of information in the form of a net with thin, almost invisible threads,
that were so delicate you would have to know exactly where to look to see them.
The gnomes were just a handful, but they managed to upset the Emperor.
" Those Dogs" he shouted " They can't be allowed to pee on my posts!"
"We will give them a Boone to chew on. Let's get reorganised. Bring in the great
MIS-informer!" (MIS=Management Information System... narrators comment)
One of the subordinates complained " He has had some hairy experiences,
yet his hair is not oily".
But the Emperor was unperturbed. "Make him look that way, oil slick!
He has eaten sardines in oil and once he actually filled up his car engine with oil,
a towering feat!"
There was a sudden noise as the printer spewed forth a press release.
"Look, other empire builders have gnome problems too."
HCCA is also making preparations for its annual meeting of share-
holders, which is to be announced within the next few weeks. At that
meeting, the company will be reporting to the shareholder's (sic) informa-
tion that will dispel the many false and negative rumors circulating
about HCCA. Many of these rumors are appearing on the Internet
system. The company believes they are being generated by a very small
group of individuals who are terribly mis-informed or who have
personal reasons for disseminating inaccurate information.
Everybody was suddenly enthusiastic. "Yes, if the gnomes are misinformed, let's
state that it's their own fault so that no shadow may fall on us!
We can also leak some false rumors and then charge them with spreading
biased information! As long as we don't release any factual information,
anything they say can be called hearsay or outright lies!"
The CPA (CPA = Cerebral Pygmification, Acute! ...narrators note) reading the rest of the
press release suddenly burst out: "Wonderful! Now I know what to do.
This company's stock has gone from a couple of dollars to a couple of cents
in less than a year. Nothing to it. All they had to do was to issue 600 million shares.
No need to worry about employees, assets or revenues."
A doubter asked "Won't the stock drop if we start diluting?"
" Not if we don't tell anyone. Let's start our Dilution of Grandeur!"
"We must do it impressively and pompously. We will emboss every certificate with the company logo
and the slogan In Hoax Signum Vinces .
So the presses started and if they haven't stopped, then they are still rolling.
Gnome de plume: ps |
