OT:Beings as the joke thread has been taken over by the political discussion, I'll post this here. All of us playing the Canadian stuff will appreciate this anyway.
On July 26, 2000 -- two friends, Jim and Chris, each got a $1,000 bonus from their boss, Nortel Networks.
Jim, being an intelligent, financially-conscientious person, put the whole $1,000 in Nortel Networks' stock. With his $1,000, and the transaction cost of $35, he was able to purchase seven shares at $123 each. Having watched the Nortel stock price climb and climb, he felt very good about this investment, happy that he was preparing for the future.
Chris, being a more care-free sort, did something very different with his money. Chris borrowed a friend's truck, drove to The Beer Store, and bought 33 cases of beer. Chris also felt very good about his investment - 33 cases X 24 = 792 bottles of beer. Chris, also being an intelligent guy, calculated that he could drink about 15 bottles a week, and wouldn't have to buy beer for a whole year.
Jim, of course, was appalled at Chris's purchase, and constantly berated him about it. As months went by, Jim excitedly watched the stock prices, and saw Nortel shares were slipping. "It'll go back up," he'd say to Chris. Chris, who was reaping the benefits of his investment on a daily basis, would reply, "ya, it will. Hang in there buddy."
The value of the stock continued to fall, while there was the beginning of a noticeable dent in the beer pile.
Midwinter came. Jim's stock had dropped to about half of its original value, and Chris's beer was about half gone.
Jim, sure that Nortel's shares had hit rock bottom, was still berating Chris for his frivolous purchase, telling him, "Your beer will be gone in six months! Who knows what my stock will be worth?!!"
Well, summer came, and hard times hit at Nortel. Both Chris and Jim were laid off. Just weeks ago, desperate to raise some cash to help him through the rough time, Jim sold his seven shares at that day's value of $12, and got $84. But after paying a $35 transaction fee, he was left with $49.
Jim stopped by Chris's house later that day (everyone needs their friends during tough times), and as luck would have it, there were two bottles of beer left. Chris, being a compassionate friend, offered to share his last bottles of beer with his friend.
Jim appreciated the gesture, and enjoyed the cold beer on a hot summer's day, but he felt a bit guilty. "At least I got $50 out of it -- you now have nothing."
Chris replied, "that's okay" -- then asked his friend to help him load up the truck to return the empties. Off the two drove to The Beer Store. Chris went to the counter to collect his refund on for the bottles. The clerk said, "now let me see, 33 cases times 24 bottles, at 10 cents per bottle, that comes to $79.20."
The clerk handed him the money. Jim was speechless. Can you imagine how the poor guy would feel after discovering that over the course of the last year, his $1,000 stock investment left him with $50; while his friend's investment in beer left him with $80? |
