SI
SI
discoversearch

We've detected that you're using an ad content blocking browser plug-in or feature. Ads provide a critical source of revenue to the continued operation of Silicon Investor.  We ask that you disable ad blocking while on Silicon Investor in the best interests of our community.  If you are not using an ad blocker but are still receiving this message, make sure your browser's tracking protection is set to the 'standard' level.
Politics : Sharks in the Septic Tank

 Public ReplyPrvt ReplyMark as Last ReadFilePrevious 10Next 10PreviousNext  
To: epicure who wrote (28512)9/19/2001 11:02:39 PM
From: gao seng  Read Replies (1) of 82486
 
You left out odor.

You got my point. When we are no more, beauty will be no more. But yet, in your poem, it seems that the promise that your beauty will be eternal is a sufficient dowry of the mind. But it isn't. But yet, beauty acquisces.

Sorry, her is my critique:

:the best gesture of my brain is less than
your eyelids' flutter

-your eyelids flutter tells me, you love me. I can not respond. My mind is incapable of response. I am yours, completely. I like this. But yet--

:leaning back in my arms
for life's not a paragraph

-haha I seduced you.

This is not romance, IMO. Not that I know what romance is, but romance through trickery is not romance.

__

Poem under discussion:

since feeling is first
who pays any attention
to the syntax of things
will never wholly kiss you;

wholly to be a fool
while Spring is in the world

my blood approves,
and kisses are a better fate
than wisdom
lady i swear by all flowers. Don't cry
-the best gesture of my brain is less than
your eyelids' flutter which says

we are for each other:then
laugh,leaning back in my arms
for life's not a paragraph

And death i think is no parenthesis
Report TOU ViolationShare This Post
 Public ReplyPrvt ReplyMark as Last ReadFilePrevious 10Next 10PreviousNext