NEW AIRLINE BOASTS FLYING SAFETY
NEW YORK: A new airline company has been launched that guarantees passengers will be safe from being hijacked by pendejo terrorists.
Calling itself Naked Air, the new airline requires all passengers to fly nude.
"No passenger can get past our security check points without totally disrobing," said Hugh Hefner, CEO of Naked Air.
No carry-on luggage is allowed on Naked Air flights, either.
"That way no one can smuggle guns, knives, or anything else onto our planes," Hefner added.
Fares on Naked Air will be 20% higher than conventional flights, noted Hefner. "Not only will our passengers be safe, they will have a lot of interesting visual entertainment provided," he added.
Naked Air reportedly will use retired Playboy Bunnies as flight attendants.
FAA officials were hesitant to comment on whether Naked Air would attract frightened passengers back onto airlines. However, off the record, a number of FAA officials suggested Naked Air would be the most inspected airline flying in the country.
It is not clear whether other airlines would respond to Naked Air's challenge, and offer clothing optional flights. "We're not sure a lot of people want to sit naked next to a lot of other people you ordinarily encounter on planes," said a spokesman for America Worst Airlines.
Since no suicide terrorist to date has been female, one airline official noted that it may make sense to require all male passengers to be strip searched at a minimum. "We really can't justify racial profiling and since all the suicide terrorists were male, then maybe we should really hassle every male passenger," said the official, who happened to be female.
Meanwhile, Naked Air announced it would start service in New York, Washington, Chicago, LA, and Miami by November 1st. "We have lots of other cities that want us to serve them," said Hefner, "but we just don't have enough planes yet." |
