MADAM MARIE
The Scene:
Summer 1973. The Asbury Park boardwalk on a hot afternoon. Bruce is girl-watching with friends Steve Van Zandt, Clarence Clemons, Dave Sancious, and Vini Lopez.
Vini (nudging Bruce): There she is, man... over by Ho Jo's... go talk to 'er, man.
Clarence: Yeah... yeah... she's fine... look at them legs... damn.
Steve: Bruce, man... she's gettin' away... look at that walk... she walks just like a... like a flamingo. What's her name, man?
Bruce: Don't know... but it don't matter... she don't... she don't like me.
Steve: Bruce, man... you gotta project more confidence... use that recording contract for what it should be used for.
Bruce: Ta make rock n' roll?
Steve: NO, man... ta meet chicks... chicks eat that stuff up.
Bruce: I told ya's... she don't like me... said I was a creep.
Dave: Yeah... but you're on Columbia now... lay that one on 'er.
Vini: So now he's a creep on Columbia... he's gonna need more help than that.
Steve: Hey... Madam Marie's... you guys wanna get your fortunes read??
Bruce: Yeah... yeah... if it means I don't gotta go talk ta the flamingo... yeah.
Dave: Whatever... we ain't doin' nuthin' else.
The guys walk over to Madam Marie's fortune telling booth
Steve: Hey lady, we all wanna get our fortunes read... can we get, like... some kinda package deal?
Marie: No deals. One dollar each.
Steve: C'mon, you guys... cough in a buck here.
The guys all lay their dollars down
Marie: Step up, gentlemen... step up... and bear witness.
Clarence: Bear witness? Bear witness ta what?
Marie: To YOUR FUUUUUTURE, big fella.
Clarence: Damn.
Marie (chanting): Step up and present your hand to me... as I look into the ball and seeeeeee.
Vini: Uh, Stevie, man... this was your idea... you first.
Steve: Step aside, boys.
Marie (taking Steve's hand): YOU...
Steve: Me?
Marie: YOU... will be... a rock n' roll star!
Steve: Guys... you hear that?! You hear that?! Hey, thanks, lady. Who's next?
Marie: YOU...
Steve: Huh? Ain't we done here?... rock n' roll star's good enough for me.
Marie: YOU... will be... a Godfather-quoting, supporting character in a hit premium cable TV show!
Steve: Both? Now how can I be both??
Marie: How the hell do I know, sonny... that's what it says... wait... wait... I suppose it IS wrong.... this character has a full head of hair.
Steve (pulling his hand away): See... I knew you was jerkin' me around, lady.
Marie: NEXT!
Dave: Ok, I'll give it a try
Marie (taking Dave's hand): YOU...
Dave: Here we go.
Marie: YOU... will be... you will be... wait... this can't be right... this doesn't make any sense at all... I'm sorry, gentlemen, I'm just not in peak form today.
Dave: C'mon, lady, what's it say?... you're freakin' me out here.
Marie: It says... you will be... Pete Best?
Dave: Huh? Pete Best?? I will be Pete Best? What's that mean? Who's Pete Best?
Marie (shrugging her shoulders): Beats me, sonny. I don't write 'em, I just read 'em.
Bruce: Ain't he that... that guy that left the Beatles just before they became like... like rich and successful?
Steve: Yeah... yeah.... talk about a bad career move... but what's that gotta do with Davey here?
Dave: Well, this was a big waste of...
Marie: NEXT!
Vini: Do me, lady... do me!
Marie (taking Vini's hand): YOU...
Vini: Yeah... yeah... me what?
Marie: YOU... will be... a late night television star!
Vini: Huh? Wait... you mean like a Johnny Carson??
Marie: Wait... sorry, sonny... I misread that... you will be... REPLACED by a late night television star!
Vini: Huh? Replaced ? Replaced from what?? I'm a drummer, lady, does it say anything about drummin'?
Marie: NEXT!
Steve: Bruce, man... step up and give the little lady your hand.
Marie (taking Bruce's hand): YOU...
Bruce laughs nervously
Marie: YOU... will be... a rock and roll star!
Bruce: Stevie... you hear that?? Just like you!
Steve: Now see... now I know she's full of it... she's handin' out rock n' roll star jobs like she was handin' out snowcones. What are the odds we're BOTH gonna be rock stars? This old bag is full of...
Marie: SILENCE!!
Bruce: Stevie, man... cool out... don't piss 'er off... she's still got my hand here.
Marie: YOU...
Bruce: Yeah?
Marie: YOU... will win... an Oscar!
Bruce: An Oscar? You mean I'm gonna be a movie star?! Guys... you hear that?? A movie star!... always wanted ta be one'a them. Just like Robert Mitchum!
Marie: Well... not a movie star, exactly..... it's just a soundtrack award.
Bruce: Oh.
Marie: YOU... will marry...
Bruce: Uh oh.
Marie: YOU... will marry... a beautiful actress!
Clarence: Damn. Prob'ly some sweet young thing you meet when you're out in Hollywood winnin' your Oscar.
Bruce: I ain't marryin' nobody, lady... I ain't never gettin'...
Marie: YOU... wait... this doesn't make sense...
Steve: What else is new? C'mon guys... let's go... I'm hungry.
Bruce: What is it, lady?
Marie: I'm seeing... TWO faces.
Bruce: Huh?
Marie: Yes... yes... a second face... and... that's odd..... she's... here today.
Bruce: She's here? What, like in your crystal ball or sumthin'?
Marie (confused): No... no... here... on the beach.
Steve (nudging Bruce): FLAMINGO!!
Marie: SILENCE!! You, annoying man, are testing the patience of the almighty all-seeing Beyond!
Steve: Jeez... sorry, lady.
Bruce (pulling his hand away): Ok, I had enough'a this... too creepy... too creepy.
Marie: So be it... NEXT!
Clarence: Guess that's me, huh?
Marie (taking Clarence's hand): YOU...
Clarence: Bring it on.
Marie: YOU... will... huh?
Clarence: Come on, lady, lay it on me.
Marie: YOU... will have your ass... on an album cover!
Clarence: Mah ass? On an album? A record album? Damn... well... I AM a sax player.
Marie: Better start tonin' up then, honey... if you're gonna be showin' THAT to the world.
Clarence: How 'bout that fellas... mah ass... I told ya's the ladies like...
Marie: SILENCE!!... wait... sorry... it's not your ass after all, big fella... it's the last guy's ass... I'm still getting his signals.
Bruce: My ass?
Marie: That's right, sonny.
Vini: Better than your face, let me tell ya!
Bruce (turning around): Lady, you're crazy... THIS ass??
Marie: Hey... I could see that... your ass ain't half bad, sonny... a little scrawny, yet still pert... but you might want to bulk up a little up top... balance it out... you know?
Clarence: Awww man, I'm blowin' outta here... I had me enough of this ol' lady's jive.
The guys walk away from the booth. Clarence is stewing... the others are laughing
Steve: Don't take it so hard, Big Man.... we like your ass... even if she don't!
Clarence: That crazy ol' bag... she'll say anything for a buck.
The End
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