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Pastimes : Jokes - Best of
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To: Pink Minion who wrote (41)10/17/2001 10:56:41 PM
From: Pink Minion  Read Replies (1) of 54
 
George Carlin offers some things to think about in your spare time:
1. Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?

2. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

3 How is it possible to have a civil war?

4. If God dropped acid, would he see people?

5. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?

6. If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry?

7. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

9. Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of
"assteroids"?

10. Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?

11. Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that
song?

12. Where are we going? And what's with this handbasket?

13. If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during
a plane crash, why isn't the whole damn airplane made out of
that stuff?

14. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

15. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have
monkeys and apes?

16. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all
the bad girls live.

17. When I asked the bookstore clerk where the self-help section
was?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

18. If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are
they all still working?

19. Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims?

20. If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

21. Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have a "S"
in it?
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