Finally. A solution to the Afghan situation
Thx to SI member Teresa Lo for finding this gem<g>
'Belligerent Women' set to battle bin Laden
By Jennifer Harper
THE WASHINGTON TIMES
Heavens: Are ladies of a certain age mobilizing to go fight
terrorists on foreign shores? "Take all American women
who are within five years of menopause, train us for a few
weeks; outfit us with automatic weapons, grenades, gas masks,
moisturizer with SPF-15, Prozac, hormones, chocolate, and canned
tuna; drop us (parachuted, preferably) across the landscape
of Afghanistan, and let us do what comes naturally."
Thus reads a brand new bit of Internet lore which is barreling
through cyberspace at the speed of a minivan bound for the mall.
According to one observer, "thousands of women" have read
this missive, sent by chain e-mail and posted on message boards
from sea to shining sea. But wait. There's more.
"Think about it," the message continues. "Our anger quotient
alone, even when doing standard stuff like grocery shopping and
paying bills, is formidable enough to make even armed men in
turbans tremble."
"We've survived the water diet, the protein diet, the
carbohydrate diet, and the grapefruit diet in gyms and saunas
across America and never lost a pound. We can easily
survive months in the hostile terrain of Afghanistan with no
food at all. We've spent years tracking down our husbands or
lovers in bars, hardware stores, or sporting events. Finding
bin Laden in some cave will be no problem."
There are some diplomatic skills involved, too.
"Uniting all the warring tribes of Afghanistan in a new
government? Oh, please we've planned the seating
arrangements for in-laws and extended families at
Thanksgiving dinners for years. We understand tribal
warfare."
The ladies propose to play hardball in the message, which
has been universally billed "Let 'em at them."
"Between us, we've divorced enough husbands to know
every trick there is or how they hide, launder, or cover up
bank accounts and money sources. We know how to find
that money and we know how to seize it, with or without the
government's help."
And, in conclusion, the letter urges, "Let us go and fight.
The Taliban hates women. Imagine their terror as we crawl
like ants with hot-flashes over their godforsaken terrain. I'm
going to write my Congresswoman. You should, too."
Needless to say, the sentiments are being greeted with
gusto from the girls.
"Amen, sister, I'm there," reads a reply at
www.women.com, one of the most heavily trafficked
women's Web sites in the country. The message is posted,
incidentally, under "Scratching Post" in the "Girl Talk" section.
This e-mail is so new that its origins remain a mystery. It is
part of a greater subculture of rumor, hoaxes, urban legends,
humor and commentary that has emerged on the Internet for
better or worse in a post-Sept. 11 world.
The field is so large that one Web site
(www.snopes2.com) now devotes an entire section to the
"debunking" of war-related rumors. Does ironing the mail kill
anthrax? Does Osama bin Laden own the Snapple company?
No — on both counts.
Still, chain e-mails and odd tales serve their purpose in
trying times.
"A lot of legends come out of situations where there is an
intense and poorly defined feeling of stress," cultural analyst
Bill Ellis told the New York Times after he received the
infamous and false "friend of a friend" e-mail which claimed
American shopping malls would be attacked on Halloween.
Legends, rumors and hoaxes, Mr. Ellis said, are a kind of
psychological shield. And they can be funny, too.
Tennessee-based political writer Glenn Reynolds received
the "Belligerent Women" e-mail from "a local librarian."
"Judging by its headers it has been seen and passed on by
thousands of women already," he notes at Insta-Pundit, his
own compendium. (http://instapundit.blogspot.com).
And supposing all those irate ladies with their chocolate
and gas masks arrive on foreign shores?
"Those guys don't stand a chance," Mr. Reynolds
observed. |
