I was talking to a friend on the phone a little while ago and asked her the new-military-strategies question. She had already had a some ideas, all of which are designed for the express purpose of "driving them crazy," and told them to me.
One is to get Ray Charles to sing God Bless America in Arabic and other local languages and blast it out, very loud, all the time. I asked what that would accomplish and she explained that they would hate God blessing America. Her second idea is to have Hollywood special effects guys create holograms showing "naked women doing lewd things with pigs, because they hate pigs and naked women" followed by sprinkling something they will be told is pig's blood all over the caves. This last might be accompanied, she feels, with Ray Charles singing a song, also in Arabic, comparing pig's blood with rain falling from heaven. I asked how the pig's blood rain theme followed from the naked-women-pigs holograms and she said, "It's just the second act." I asked what would be the purpose of sprinkling 'pig's blood' over the caves. She is sure that rather than touch pig's blood they will either run out of the caves where we can shoot them or stay in there and starve.
She said, "It's time to get realistic!"
She is big on pig's blood warfare. She is the friend who says that from now on she is going to fly with a vial of red food coloring and if she's hijacked, throw it at any terrorists and say "HAHAHA, that's pigs blood, you'll never get into Paradise now, HAHAHA!"
Isn't there some address where citizens can send in their ideas? I told my friend that if there is such an address, some day her ideas would appear in a collection of the most hilarious ones.
Your ideas seem good to me, except... I can't cope (yet) with the disinformation one. Even though it's the best one. I'll bet something close to it is being worked on right now. If it isn't, its second cousin is. |
