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Pastimes : College Football: Nits, Gators, Bruins, Vols - Whoever!
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To: Nittany Lion who wrote (4976)11/16/2001 2:54:43 PM
From: E'Lane  Read Replies (2) of 11146
 
HOW TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY

1) At lunchtime, sit in your parked car w/sunglasses on and point a hair
dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2) Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

3) Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries
with that.

4) Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN."

5) Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten
over his or her caffeine addictions,switch to espresso.

6) In the memo field of all your checks, write " FOR SEXUAL FAVORS".

7) Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy."

8) Dont use any punctuation

9) As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

10) Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.

11) Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

12) Sing along at the opera.

13) Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

14) Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle
sounds all day.

15) Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party
because you're not in the mood.

16) Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard.

17) When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won!" "I Won!" "3rd
time this week!!!"

18) When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot,
yelling, "Run for your lives, they're loose!"

19) Tell your children over dinner. "Due to the economy,we are going to
have to let one of you go."

And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity....

20) Send this to everyone in your address book, even if they sent it to
you or have asked you not to send them stuff like this.
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