As all you dizzards sit down to your meal of gizzards, remember to be thankful of something. Only in America could people like you exist in freedom. Me, I'm mostly thankful I'm not any of you, or know anyone like you, or see anyone like you.
Another thing you and your ilk can be thankful for, is on Thanksgiving Day, some of the things you say and do are more appropriate and accepted. Some examples:
Things you can say at Thanksgiving and get away with...
1. Talk about a huge drumstick!
2. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.
3. It's Cool Whip time!
4. If I don't undo my pants, I'll burst!
5. Whew, that's one terrific spread!
6. I'm in the mood for a little dark meat.
7. Are you ready for seconds yet?
8. It's a little dry, do you still want to eat it?
9. Just wait your turn, you'll get some!
10. Don't play with your meat.
11. Just spread the legs open and stuff it in.
12. Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once?
13. I didn't expect everyone to come at once!
14. You still have a little bit on your chin.
15. How long will it take after you stick it in?
16. You'll know it's ready when it pops up.
17. Wow, I didn't think I could handle all of that!
18. That's the biggest one I've ever seen!
19. How long do I beat it before it's ready?
Fast Eddie
A Thankful American |
