I'll try and explain more. (and it's your fault I am posting and not working. :) )
K.. uhm...
I learned something in the early 80's from some smart folks about the difference between sarcasm and humor. I learned a difference between hurting and teasing affectionately. I would only tease Tim affectionately because I like and respect him. But he is reeeealllly earnest, as you mentioned. He cracks me up. But I would only poke him for that, and probably have. I would never dismiss, nor deride, him for his ideas. He is one of the most honest and thoughtful people I've ever met (but not really met). He thinks about what people say. And he never makes rude, personal, statements about people. I find him fasinating and interesting. I've seen him grow and change. And you, too. And E. And JLA. And others.
So a simple, silly, example... before I went to all-white-all-the-time tube socks, I had socks of different colors but I put on whatever two socks I grabbed out of the drawer that morning. Some people laughed in a fun way about it and saw it as a part of my "distraction". Some people laughed in a hurtful way. They passed it off as humor, but it was clear that they thought I was some kind of freak and sorry individual for wearing one brown sock and one blue sock.
Now, to be rude to myself would be to make "fun" of myself for my socks in a way that was clear I thought I was an idiot, or a moron. To make fun of myself would be to tease myself that I was too distracted to care about my socks. One hurts and dismisses. One teases in an affectionate way that makes it clear that the unpaired socks is a part of who I am. One doesn't really think much of me. One thinks of it as part of a person I, or the other, likes. |
