Here ya go!
Hog pilot speaks.... > > (Someone pulled this off the Air Force Academy's {very unofficial} > message > > board. Written by a '96 grad who apparently flies A-10s. What we all > > are REALLY thinking, but a HOG driver says it.) > > > > ******************** > > > > "Make no mistake about it... this war is gonna be a Hawgdriver's > > dream...no more of this sending GPS guided bombs from the > > ionosphere... I want to camp out on the enemy's border... I want to > > yell across the border, in the immortal words of Wyatt Earp (as > > portrayed by Kurt Russell), "You tell 'em I'm coming! AND HELL'S > > COMING WITH ME!!" > > > > I wanna punch Bin Laden in the face and say, 'You gonna do > > something? Or just stand there and bleed?' And then, I wanna laugh > > maniacally, as my 30mm shells decimate his camps. I ain't talking > > about the Armor Piercing shells this time, although the thought of > > poisoning their lungs (if, in the unlikely event, they survived my > > attack) with the dirty dust of spent uranium is quite refreshing... > > that would make the cloud over New York seem like pure Oxygen. > > > > I want High Explosive Incendiary (HEI) rounds...1150 of them, fired > > 2 or > 3 > > hundred at a time... like 3 hundred grenades exploding all at > > once... and that's just my jet... the three coming with me brings > > that total to 16 cans of CBU-87...that's 3,232 individual > > submunitions for them...that's what I want. > > > > I want 4 Maverick missiles per jet...that's 16 of those things...and > > if > we > > run outta trucks and other small things to hit with those missiles, > > I wanna find out what a maverick will do when it locks onto a > > terrorist and hits him at just over 1000 feet per second...there > > might not be enough deceleration from the impact with his body to > > detonate the thing but at that speed... I don't think it would be > > necessary. > > > > And I want 2 pods of rockets, hanging from my wings. Seven white > > phosphorous and seven HEI... I want the 'Willie Petes' to put a > > cloud of smoke, to climb into the sky, to let everyone following > > know...that's where the gettin' is good... > > > > And the HEI... well, I just want FRAG in the air, tearing apart > > their greasy, scumbag bodies the same way they tore into our > > nation... and then we'll start cleaning up with the almighty General > > Electric GAU-8/A > Avenger > > cannon... what a perfect name... AVENGER CANNON!!! If that's all I > > had, that's all I'd want... four hawgs, with 4600 of our little > > friends... > lock > > and load, hammer down!!!! > > > > But that's just my personal end... here's what else I want...I want > > John Madden, Terry Bradshaw and Howie Long, to take over CNN, NBC, > > ABC and every other news network, to provide coverage of this war... > > I want Madden, with his electronic chalkboard, out there describing > > what's going on... "You see here, across the top of the screen, that > > ridge line is exactly where the attack is gonna come from... you'll > > see the Warthawgs come popping over them and unleash a fury that we > > haven't seen since Lawrence Taylor was on the prowl...Speaking of > > that, here they come and BAM!!! These guys are great!... they remind > > me of linemen... they don't get much press coverage, but when they > > hit you, man do you know it!" > > > > I want Hank Williams, Jr. and Lee Greenwood belting out, "I'M PROUD > > TO BE AN AMERICAN," as the intro to "Monday Night Air Strikes" ... > > "Fight > Night" > > would have a whole new meaning now... > > I want to see Sports Center air the "HIT OF THE DAY":..."Today's > > strike comes from a flight of two A-10 Warthogs. You'll see here > > that some terrorist got the wild idea that he could shoot at these > > guys...you can see the missile come up and totally miss the two > > jets... and here, you see, as they roll in and unleash that awesome > > gun on the point of origin,...nothing left there now! And that's our > > "PLAY OF THE DAY!!" I want Mills Lane, in the field, giving play by > > play descriptions. I want "Flight of the Valkaries" playing at full > > bore, from every mountainside, as we run in at 100 feet.... I want > > "WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE," playing > after > > the first bomb hits, and when I'm out of WINCHESTER ammunition, I > > wanna land on Bin Laden's personal airstrip, grab him by his > > twisted, dead neck and poke him in the eyes and say, "YOU JUST GOT > > KNOCKED OUT!" > > > > I want the NFL cheerleaders to send us off to war, and the XFL > > cheerleaders to welcome us home. And while we're at it I don't just > > want to beat the crap outta these scumbags, I want to humiliate > > them, too. I want to see Schwartzkopf come outta retirement, to > > start kicking some butt... I want a cure for Alzheimer's - right now > > - to get Reagan back in working order, and like Dennis Leary says, I > > want a cure for cancer, to thaw out John Wayne and see just how > > pissed off he is right now. > > > > I want STUKA terror sirens, mounted to the wings of my > > Hawg...although > the > > unique whine of our engines is about all the terror siren we'll need > right > > now... > > > > All right, Zero... slow down... breathe... in... out....ok... I > > think the coffee has worn off a bit now, and I should get back to > > work. You just picked the wrong people to mess with...not such a > > good day to be a bad guy." > > > > > > > |