This came from Adele Meyer, who works at the American Bar Assn. headquarters in Chicago.
Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes
for an environmentally conscious, socially
responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral celebration of
the winter solstice holiday, practiced within
the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your
choice, or secular practices of your choice, with
respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of
others, or their choice not to practice religious
or secular traditions.
And a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically
uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the
generally accepted calendar year 2002, but not without due respect for
the calendars of choice of other
cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great,
(not to imply that America is necessarily
greater than any other country or is the only "AMERICA" in the Western
Hemisphere), and without regard to the
race, creed, color, age, physical ability, height, weight, complexion,
religious faith, choice of computer platform,
or sexual preference of the wishee.
Limited warranty
By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms. This
greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal.
It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting.
It implies no promise by the wisher to actually
implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others, and is void
where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the
wisher.
This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual
application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a
subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is
limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole
discretion of the wisher.
In extending this seasonal greeting, the wishor assumes no liability
for the actual or implicit occurrence of the events for which the wishor is
extending his personal desire that these take place. Accordingly, the
wishor may not be held accountable in any manner, for injuries, real or
imagined, which may allegedly flow from the wishee's real or imagined
injuries, including but not limited to aggravated disappointment,
depression, manic-depressive reactions, hives, loss of bladder control,
or loss of consortium.
Notwithstanding this limited warranty and disclaimer, the wishor
never-the-less genuinely holds out the hope that this occasion will
provide the opportunity to bring joy into your life, in some small measure,
real or imagined, provided that you stand in the space of allowing such an
event to occur, and desire and intend those consequences.
Depending upon all the forces of uncertainty that exist in the world
today, the wishor reserves the right, without
obligation or duty, to extend similar tidings of comfort and joy in
future years, solely at discretion of the wishor.
Merry Christmas, and Happy New Year |
