Guess what I did today...
I filled out a job application at Barnes and Noble.
It didn't take long.
Current and past employment.
Let's see---that would be sometime in the last millennium. And even pretty far back in that one..
Phone numbers? Like I remember? I didn't even remember my boss's name. ANd they asked if they could call my boss for references? Sadly, I think he is dead, as well as nameless. But they can try.
If they can find a phone number.
Training
Umm- let's see...what can I do? Should I put down opera? Yeah! I know they'll be looking for that.
("OH thank god, George! At last! An opera singer. I thought we'd NEVER find one..")
Where did you hear about B&N?
Now is that stupid? Who HASN"T heard of B&N. I wrote that I spent so much money there that I thought they owed me.
Not really.
Well, actually, really, I did say that I spent so much time there, I might as well get paid for it.
What job are you applying for?
I had no idea. How many jobs are there? I just thought you sold books.
I left it blank, along with desired salary. I had no idea what to put. I don't even know what minimum wage is. I don;t even know what job I;m applying for. How do I know what they should pay me? SHouldn't they know this?
References
- this stumped me through most of my Starbucks coffee.
Finally I put down Ammo's theatre teacher and my dear Size 2 friend Jan's husband. They were the only people I could think of who would think it was funny and not mind making up stuff.
Anything special you bring to the job?
Ah!!!!! Finally! I had no trouble at all with that one. I told them all about the book fairs I've run, the boards I've served on, how many books I read a week! I got excited. How can they not hire me!! Obviously they NEED my unique expertise, my broad, though totally useless, life experiences!
The excitement lasted until I turned the form in to a bored clerk who sort of sneered at my messy printing and put it in a drawer. I sneered back, noting that she was as old as I, not nearly as nicely dressed, and she could use some customer relations skills.
BUt then she HAS the job already. Whatever the job is. Maybe I don't even want it. Though I can't be sure til I know what it is.
I just thought it would be cool to be around the books and help people find things.
The good news was when I got home, demoralized and feeling very much like an old Smith-Corona manual typewriter trying to compete with the PCs, I had a nice e-mail from my editor saying they were running my Olympics column Monday. But really, that makes me feel old too, since it's based on Ammo taking gymastics at the age of three. In the last millennium.
NOw I am drinking a beer and trying to remember the name of my old boss, who may or may not be dead. |
