BEIJING - Bitter after being snubbed for membership in the "Axis of Evil,"
> Libya, China and Syria today announced they had formed the "Axis of Just
as
> Evil," which they said would be way eviller than that stupid
Iran-Iraq-North
> Korea axis President George W. Bush warned of in his State of the Union
> address.
>
> Axis of Evil members, however, immediately dismissed the new axis as
having,
> for starters, a really dumb name. "Right. They are Just as Evil ... in
their
> dreams!" declared North Korean leader Kim Jong-Il. "Everybody knows we're
> the best evils ... best at being evil ... we're the best."
>
> Diplomats from Syria denied they were jealous over being excluded,
although
> they conceded they did ask if they could join the Axis of Evil. "They
told
> us it was full," said Bashar al-Assad, Syria's President. "An Axis can't
> have more than three countries," explained Saddam Hussein, the Iraqi
> President. "This is not my rule, it's tradition. In World War II you had
> Germany, Italy, and Japan in the evil Axis. So you can only have
> three. And a secret handshake. Ours is wicked cool."
>
> International reaction to Bush's Axis of Evil declaration was swift, as
> within minutes, France surrendered. Elsewhere, peer-conscious nations
> rushed to gain triumvirate status in what became a game of geopolitical
> chairs. Cuba, Sudan, and Serbia said they had formed the Axis of Somewhat
> Evil, forcing Somalia to join with Uganda and Myanmar in the Axis of
> Occasionally Evil, while Bulgaria, Indonesia and Russia established the
Axis
> of Not So Much Evil Really As Just Generally Disagreeable.
>
> With the criteria suddenly expanded and all the desirable clubs filling
up,
> Sierra Leone, El Salvador and Rwanda applied to be called the Axis of
> Countries That Aren't the Worst But Certainly Won't Be Asked to Host the
> Olympics; Canada, Mexico and Australia formed the Axis of Nations That Are
> Actually Quite Nice But Secretly Have Nasty Thoughts About America, while
> Spain, Scotland and New Zealand established the Axis of Countries That Be
> Allowed to Ask Sheep to Wear Lipstick. "That's not a threat, really, just
> something we like to do," said Jack McConnell, Scottish Executive First
> Minister.
>
> While wondering if the other nations of the world weren't perhaps making
fun
> of him, a cautious Mr. Bush granted approval for most axes, although he
> rejected the establishment of the Axis of Countries Whose Names End in
> "Guay," accusing one of its members of filing a false application.
> Officials from Paraguay, Uruguay, and Chadguay denied the charges.
>
> Israel, meanwhile, insisted it didn't want to join any axis, but
privately,
> world leaders said that's only because no one asked it. |
