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Pastimes : Computer Learning

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To: thecow who started this subject2/23/2002 8:24:00 PM
From: thecow  Read Replies (2) of 110653
 
Dear Consumers:

It has come to our attention that a few copies of the
WINDOWS 98 SOUTHERN EDITION may have accidentally
been shipped outside of the South. If you have one
of these, you may need some help understanding its
commands. The Southern Edition may be recognized
by the unique opening screen.

It reads: "WINDERS 98" with a background picture of
General Robert E. Lee superimposed on a Confederate
flag. It is shipped with a Dukes of Hazard screen-saver.

Please also note:

"The "Recycle Bin" is labeled "Outhouse"
"My Computer" is called "This Dern Contraption"
"Dial up Networking" is called "Good Ol' Boys"
"Control Panel" is known as "The Dashboard"
"Hard Drive" is referred to as "4-Wheel Drive"
"Floppies" are "them little ol' plastic disc thangs"
Instead of an "error message" a "garbage bag and roll of duct tape" pops up.CHANGES IN TERMINOLOGY IN SOUTHERN EDITION:

OK . . .. . .. . . . . . ats aw-right
Cancel. .. .. . . . . . stopdat
Reset . .. .. . . . . . try er agin
Yes. .. . . . . . . . . yep
No .. . . . . . . . . .. nope
Find . . . . . . .. .. . hunt fer it
Go to . . . . . .. .. . over yonder
Back . . . .. .. . . . . back yonder
Help . . .. .. . . . . . hep me out here
Stop .. .. . . . . . . . kwitit
Start .. . . . . . . . . crank er up
Settings . . . . . . . . settins
Programs . . . . . .. stuff at duz stuff
Documents. . . . . . stuff ah done did
Also note that SOUTHERN EDITION does not recognize
capital letters or punctuation marks. Some programs
that are exclusive to "Winders 98":

Tiperiter. . . . . . . . a word processing program
colerin book. . . . . . . a graphics program
cyferin mersheen . . . . . calculator
outhouse paper . . . . . . notepad
iner-net . . . . . . . . Microsoft Explorer 4.0
pichers . . . . . . . . A graphics viewer
We regret any inconvenience it may have caused If
you received a copy of the SOUTHERN EDITION.
you may return it to Microsoft for a replacement version.

I hope this helps all y'all!

Sincerely,
Billy Bob Gates
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