Dear kind-hearted friends,
Now that the holiday season has passed, please look into
your heart to help those in need.
Enron executives in our very own country are living at or
just below the seven-figure salary level. And, as if that
weren't bad enough, they will be deprived of it as a result
of the bankruptcy and current SEC investigation. But now,
you can help! For only $20,835 a month, about $694.50 a
day (that's less than the cost of a large screen projection
TV), you can help an Enron executive remain economically
viable during his time of need.
This contribution by no means solves the problem, but it's
a start!
Almost $700 may not seem like a lot of money to you, but
to an Enron exec it could mean the difference between a
vacation spent kissing ass in DC, golfing in Florida, or a
Mediterranean cruise. For you, seven hundred dollars is
nothing more than rent, a car note, or mortgage payments.
But to an Enron exec, $700 will almost replace his per diem.
Your commitment of less than $700 a day will enable an
Enron exec to buy that home entertainment center, trade in
the year-old Lexus for a new Ferrari, or enjoy a weekend in Rio.
How will I know I'm helping?
Each month, you will receive a complete financial report on the
exec you sponsor. Detailed information about his stocks, bonds,
401(k), real estate, and other investment holdings will be mailed
to your home. You'll also get information on how he plans to
invest his golden parachute. Imagine the joy as you watch your
executive's portfolio double or triple! Plus, upon signing up for
this program, you will receive a photo of the exec (unsigned; for
a signed photo, please include an additional $50.00). Put the
photo on your refrigerator to remind you of other peoples' suffering.
How will he know I'm helping?
Your Enron exec will be told that he has a SPECIAL FRIEND who
just wants to help in a time of need. Although the exec won't
know your name, he will be able to make collect calls to your
home via a special operator just in case additional funds are
needed for unexpected expenses.
Yes, I want to help!
I would like to sponsor an Enron executive. My preference is
checked below:
[ ] Mid-level Manager
[ ] Director
[ ] Vice President (higher cost; please specify department)
[ ] President (even higher cost; please specify department)
[ ] CEO (contribution; average Enron janitor monthly salary x 700)
[ ] Entire Company
[ ] I'll sponsor an Exec most in need. Please select one for me.
*It's just that easy, so do it now!*
Please charge the account listed below ___________ per day
and send me picture of the Enron executive I have sponsored,
along with my very own Enron "Keep America Strong; Sponsor
an Enron Exec: Ask Me How!" t-shirt to wear proudly.
And thank you so very much! |
