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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke
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To: TimF who wrote (22651)2/26/2002 7:25:57 PM
From: Karen Lawrence  Read Replies (2) of 62552
 
If only we'd gone metric: Useful English System conversions/units:

2.4 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital: 1 I.V. League

Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement: bananosecond

2000 pounds of Chinese soup: Won ton

1 millionth mouthwash: 1 microscope

Speed of a tortoise breaking the sound barrier: Mach Turtle

Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour: Knot-furlong

365.25 days of drinking low-calorie beer because it's less filling: 1
lite year

16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone: 1 Rod Sterling

Half of a large intestine: 1 semicolon

1000 aches: 1 megahurtz

Weight an evangelist carries with God: 1 billigram

Basic unit of laryngitis: 1 hoarsepower

Shortest distance between two jokes: A straight line

A Half-Bath: 1 demijohn

453.6 graham crackers: 1 pound cake

Given the old adage "a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step," the first step of a one-mile journey: 1 Milwaukee

1 million microphones: 1 megaphone

1 million bicycles: 2 megacycles

365.25 days: 1 unicycle

2200 mockingbirds: two kilomockingbirds

10 cards: 1 decacards

1 kilogram of falling figs: 1 Fig Newton

1000 grams of wet socks: 1 literhosen

1 millionth of a fish: 1 microfiche

1 trillion pins: 1 terrapin

1 million billion picolos: 1 gigolo

10 rations: 1 decoration

100 rations: 1 C-ration

10 millipedes: 1 centipede

3 1/3 tridents: 1 decadent

10 monologs: 5 dialogs

5 dialogs: 1 decalog

2 monograms: 1 diagram

8 nickels: 2 paradigms

2 wharves: 1 paradox

100 Senators: Not 1 decision
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