Dear Kind Hearted Friends...
Now that the holiday season has passed, please
look into your heart to help those in need. Enron
executives in our very own country are living at or
just below the seven-figure salary level.
And, as if that weren't bad enough, they will be
deprived of it as a result of the bankruptcy and current
SEC investigation.
But now, you can help! For only $20,835 a month,
about $694.50 a day (that's less than the cost of a large
screen projection TV) you can help an Enron executive remain
economically viable during his time of need. This contribution
by no means solves the problem, but it's a start!
Although $700 may not seem like a lot of money to you,
to an Enron exec it could mean the difference between a
vacation spent kissing @#$ in DC, golfing in Florida or a
Mediterranean cruise. For you, seven hundred dollars is nothing
more than rent, a car note or mortgage payments. But to an
Enron exec $700 will almost replace his per diem.
Your commitment of less than $700 a day will enable
an Enron exec to buy that home entertainment center, trade in
the year-old Lexus for a new Ferrari, or enjoy a weekend in Rio.
! HOW WILL I KNOW I'M HELPING?
Each month, you will receive a complete financial report
on the exec you sponsor. Detailed information about his stocks,
bonds, 401(k), real estate, and other investment holdings will be
mailed to your home. You'll also get information on how he plans
to invest his golden parachute. Imagine the joy as you watch your
executive's portfolio double or triple! Plus, upon signing up for
this program, you will receive a photo of the exec (unsigned -- for
a signed photo, please include an additional $50.00). Put the
photo on your refrigerator to remind yourself of other people's
suffering.
&! nbsp; HOW WILL HE KNOW I'M HELPING?
Your Enron exec will be told that he has a SPECIAL FRIEND
who just wants to help in a time of need. Although the exec won't
know your name, he will be able to make collect calls to your home
via a special operator just in case additional funds are needed for
unexpected expenses.
YES, I WANT TO HELP!
I would like to sponsor an Enron executive. My
preference is checked below:
[ ] Mid-level Manager
[ ] Director
[ ] Vice President (Higher cost; please specify which department)
&nbs! p; [ ] President (Even higher cost; please specify which department)
[ ] CEO (Contribution:: Average Enron janitor monthly salary x 700)
[ ] Entire Company
[ ] I'll sponsor an Exec most in need. Please select one for me.
*It's just that easy so do it now!*
Please charge the account listed below ___________
per day and send me a picture of the Enron executive I have
sponsored, along with my very own Enron "Keep America Strong;
Sponsor an Enron Exec: Ask Me How!" T-shirt to wear proudly.
Your Name: _______________________
Telephone Number:_______________________
Account Number: _______________________
Exp.Date:_______
[ ]! MasterCard [ ] Visa [ ] American Express [ ] Discover
Signature: _______________________
Mail completed form to "The Invisible Hand" or call 1-900-2MUCH
now to enroll by phone. Note: Sponsors are not permitted to
contact the executive they have sponsored, either in person or
by other means including, but not limited to, telephone calls,
letters, e-mail, or third parties. Keep in mind that the
executive you have sponsored will be much too busy enjoying his
free time, thanks to your generous donations.
Contributions are not tax-deductible. |
