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Pastimes : THE SLIGHTLY MODERATED BOXING RING
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To: maried. who wrote (1617)3/6/2002 9:50:57 PM
From: Lane3  Read Replies (2) of 21057
 
Have you ever heard of a female on SI or elsewhere...who had been forced into a sexual encounter...speak lovingly of that experience?

Marie, I don't think we're talking about the same thing. I'm not talking about boys who were forced into anything. I can't imagine a boy having fond memories of being forced. I'm talking about being seduced. Now, I recognize that a fifteen year old boy is not technically old enough to make decisions about allowing himself to be seduced, but surely you can see the difference between that and involuntary sexual contact.

Don't confuse someone who has matured enough to realize that he can love a women even if she has cellulite and varicosity because of who she is...and the person who speaks of sexual activity with an older woman as a young teen as though it was a loving experience.

I'm not. I'm talking about an experience that was maturing for the boy. And his speaking appreciatively of the circumstances that provided that opportunity to grow. I'm sure that he did not have the mis-impression that his youthful sexual contact was about love. He simply learned to look at women in a more mature way. Some men never learn that.

I can imagine a similar situation with a girl as the "victim." Say she had a mean, cold father whom she hated and who wanted her to quit school and get a job at the cannery. Say at sixteen she developed a friendship with an itinerant gardener ten years her senior who listened to what she had to say and encouraged her painting. And that friendship turned into an brief affair during which she learned that a man could be sweet and gentle and appreciative of her as a person. The affair ended when she left town for college, for which she had gotten an art scholarship. Yes, technically that's child molestation. But a bad thing? I can't say that.

I don't think that all child molestation is created equal. There is a difference between a child and jail bait, for one. And there is a difference between rape and statutory rape.

Karen
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