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Non-Tech : Jokes #2
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To: Karin who started this subject3/16/2002 3:11:27 AM
From: X Y Zebra  Read Replies (1) of 337
 
A friend of mine [who is a lawyer] sent me this e-mail.

Thought you'd get a kick out of this. I'll also add one more... [Notice how proud he indicates to me that he is "adding" one more, of his own collection too --identification perhaps?]

Why don't lawyers ever take Viagra?

Because it only makes them taller.

-------------

Then.... he sends me the list... [Which was a list forwarded to me from friends of is --mostly... well, more lawyers]

1. Did you hear that the Post Office just recalled
their latest
stamps?
They had pictures of lawyers on them and people
couldn't figure out
which side to spit on.

2. How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying
a future lawyer?
She has an uncontrollable craving for baloney.

3. How does an attorney sleep?
First he lies on one side, then he lies on the
other.

4. How many lawyer jokes are there?
Only three. The rest are true stories.

5. How many lawyers does it take to change a light
bulb?
How many can you afford?

6. How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light
bulb?
Three. One to climb the ladder. One to shake it.
And one to sue the
ladder company.

7. If a lawyer and an IRS agent were both drowning,
and you could only
save one of them, would you go to lunch or read the
paper?

8. What did the lawyer name his daughter?
Sue.

9. What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?
Skeet.

10. What do you call a lawyer gone bad?
Senator.

11. What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50?
Your Honor.

12. What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?
His partners.

13. What does a lawyer use for birth-control?
His personality.

14. What happens when you cross a pig with a lawyer?
Nothing. There are some things a pig just won't do.

15. What's the difference between a lawyer and a
vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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