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Pastimes : THE SLIGHTLY MODERATED BOXING RING

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To: J. C. Dithers who wrote (3489)3/19/2002 1:18:41 PM
From: E  Read Replies (1) of 21057
 
The deficiency is, I'd say, that it's not going to do much to put the incident behind them, so if she can rise above it w/o evening the score, it's probably best.

The advantages my prescription has imo are:

1) it makes clear that ignorance isn't just bliss in such a case (an illusion that serves the cheating partner's amour propre: "I'm not telling because I'm so kind.") It's also an uncollected unknown debt.

2) the psychology of evening-up the extramarital-dealie score is good for the "devastated" spouse, who is suffering from a feeling that could be called having been chosen against, a thing we're hardwired to feel threatened by.

I've suggested this remedy for jealousy to a number of women friends, and in each case it was the cure to their depression. And to their mate's view of infidelity as a no-harm-no-foul event.
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